My girlfriend and I met in university and has been dating for five years now. She moved into my place a few months ago. We never had any trouble until she sad she wants her friend to come over to hang out. Her best friend has a large, aggressive Rottweiler that he always take with him everywhere and I don’t want that anywhere near my cat. My girlfriend accused me of being jealous so I told her that she can go over to hang out with him at his place but she is still pretty upset about it.
She said I’m worrying too much about it but I don’t think I am. I’ve seen that dog running after stray cats before and know he can easily hurt my cat. He wouldn’t leave it at home when he comes over either since he said he takes it with him wherever he goes. What do I do?
UPDATE : A few hours ago I confronted my girlfriend about this, telling her that she has ignored my concerns regarding my cat’s safety and prioritized her friend over that. She was really angry and said I was being overprotective, despite having seen the way the guy’s Rottweiler acts with cats before. I have broken up with her and gotten the key back. She’s moved out now.
44 comments
Couldn’t he just come over without the dog?
Im with the other responder. I have dogs I am extremely attached to but I don’t assume that I can or should take them to other people’s houses.
Asking not to bring the dog over is totally reasonable. If she doesn’t accept that then her and her friend are being unreasonable. Also, like, why couldn’t you guys just meet at a restaurant or something?
What fucking psycho brings a rottie to strange places all the time.
Dump her
Why don’t you just say he can come but he can’t bring the dog? Tell him that it’s not good for the cat.
Tell him he’s welcome to come over, but you don’t feel comfortable having the dog over because of the cat. Even if you put the cat in a room when they come over, I’m sure the dog is going to be wandering around the house because the dog doesn’t sound trained at all. You don’t want this dog trying to break into the room that the cat’s in.
He leaves the dog at home for work, so the dog will be fine at home for a few hours at home.
Perhaps you didn’t word your concerns properly, because what is there to be jealous about? “Your friend is welcome to come over here, but I’m worried about our cat so I’d prefer he leave his dog at home.”
Maybe you can compromise and have the dog come over but wear a muzzle, but I doubt this guy will be willing to compromise on that.
So you expressed to your gf you don’t want him over because of his dog and she jumped to you being jealous of the friend himself? Well that’s fucking weird, no? Why is that on her mind?
>She said I’m worrying too much. I’ve seen that dog running after stray cats before and know he can easily hurt my cat.
Considering she is willing to risk the cat’s life, I’d fear she may bring them home when you are not around.
As a cat lover myself, her displayed recklessness towards the cat would be a huge incompatibility issue and an instant dealbreaker for me
Throw an aggressive dog into unknown surroundings with a cat. That would be a smart move /s
Seriously – does your gf just not get it? Even the sweetest of dogs can become aggressive when put into unknown situations or surroundings.
You’re correct. I have a rottweiler and she’s socialized with cats (we have two) but they have a very strong prey drive and it sounds like this one was never trained to suppress his. Absolutely do not let the dog in your house.
She values her friend more then you.
Put some pants and tell you girl you don’t want that dog near your cat, you’ve been together five years, if she can’t understand why you are upset she is no the one bro
This is also your cats territory- once another animal is scented your cat may go on a marking spree which means peeing..everywhere and also start feeling threatened. It’s extremely unfair to put an animal in this position and that’s before you get to any aggression making cat feel unsafe in its own home. Anybody knows that it takes careful introductions before putting animals together like this..
Be prepared for the possibility that she’ll bring him & his dog over without you there.
How do you feel knowing that your girlfriend thinks it’s more important that her friend brings his dog into your home than you AND your pet feel comfortable inside your own home?
You’ve no issue with him visiting-your issue is the dog visiting. You say to him and your gf “you’re very welcome to visit at my home-but no dogs, if that’s something you’re not comfortable with, we are more than happy to come visit you at your home”-and if your gf has an issue with that, you’ve got bigger issues going on in your relationship
The instant accusation of being jealous at a very reasonable request is a bit alarming tbh
You’ve also got to come to terms with the fact that she’s willing to put your cat’s life at risk for seemingly no reason, is this who you want to be in a relationship with as a pet owner? Hugeeee red flag.
I don’t have a cat but that blatant disregard for its life would shake the foundations of the relationship
Probably time to put up security cameras or at least a Ring doorbell to verify she’s not letting him bring the dog over. But if she’s valuing this guy & his dog over you already, she ain’t the one. Start working on your exit plan, without the cameras expect a future call explaining how there was a accident & the cat was injured or killed. I’m not a big fan of opposite gender friends, shit like this is why, he’s pulling a power move in your house & she’s backing him up. Time to move her back out of your place, if she ain’t on the lease or title out the door she goes. She can get her own place or most likely just move in with the dog owner.
I also have to take my dog everywhere with me because he has a anxiety disorder and cannot be alone (rescue dog). BUT the privilege of one’s freedom ends where it restricts the freedom of others. Whether for humans or animals. Your home should be the safe space for your cat and thats your responsibility as an owner. Other animals are only allowed in your home if your own pet isn’t effected.
Rottweilers are powerful dogs and have often a strong hunting drive. You should be aware of that and train your dog extremely careful, especially if it is such a powerful race. This guy doesn’t seem like a responsible dog owner and the owners who underestimate their animals are no less dangerous than those who deliberately stir up their animals. Good for standing up for your cat and better be safe than sorry ! I personally knew some of this cases where the dog was always declared as ,big baby who just wants playing and cuddling’. 2 dead cats and an injured child later it was still said that these were misunderstandings and accidents….
*i dont want him bringing his aggressive dog to my house*
*”My girlfriend accused me of being jealous*”
…what?
So uh, what’s her relationship like with this guy if *that’s* her first go-to?
I think your gf is giving you a gift by showing how uncaring and selfish she actually is. Maybe it’s time to find someone more deserving of your affection.
She’s being unreasonable. Either he leaves the dog at home or she goes to his house. That’s already the compromise. You shouldn’t have to bend over backwards in your own home
Something ain’t right. She accused you of being jealous.
He’s more important to her than you are. If she’s isn’t already emotionally involved with him, she soon will be. She absolutely wants to be.
This has been an opportunity for you to learn a lot about the state of your relationship with her. Don’t ignore it.
Dog owner here. I would NEVER presume my dog was welcome inside anyone else’s home unless specifically invited. This situation is absurd. Tell your GF he can come over WITHOUT the dog, or she can hang at his place.
Saying you were jealous of him just becsuse you didnt want his dog over is pretty concerning. There was no connection there until she made one. You just didn’t want the dog over. Also her calling this dude her best friend when you guys have been together for half a decade also sounds pretty sketchy. Sorry man but it sounds like you deserve better.
First and foremost, have a girl best friend of your own. Things will sort out for the best then…
You’re five years in and not formally committed. She values a dog over your concerns. You can do better. Wake up already.
I would never bring my dogs to someone’s house without explicit permission even knowing my dogs are trained to never approach a cat (and they respect that boundary). Having a dog in the home is enough to stress a cat out.
And a Rottweiler that chases strays? So clearly he has not been trained to respect that boundary? Absolutely fucking not.
It’s kind of creepy that gf would accuse you of jealousy for this.
How is the rest of your relationship going? She doesn’t seem respectful of you at all.
Why is she assuming you’re jealous, is she subconsciously hoping you are because maybe she is somewhat attracted to her “friend” and wants you to feel bitter? Who knows. But the first red flag to me was, your girlfriend is bringing a man over. Hahah.
Hate to tell you but. She definitely fucks this dude.
Hey man, just incase no one mentioned it here already. Your girl used to date this guy. If she’s taking his side in your house yeah they have a deeper history than just friends. Best bet is terminate the relationship and find someone else. You and your cat will live happier that way.
From my perspective, I would tell her to either have him over without the dog or not at all. Her jumping straight to assuming you’re jealous when you are just concerned about your cats safety is a big red flag that there’s something she’s hiding or not telling you. Not to mention that if she knows how aggressive the dog will be with the cat, possibly harming it, as well as you saying you have no issue as long as the dog isn’t there, she’s being selfish and putting her friendship with the guy before your relationship which doesn’t look good on her part. If you want this relationship to go further, I’m sorry but I don’t think it will if she’s making a huge deal over a him coming over with the dog, and not seeing how it can turn into a serious situation fairly quickly.
If I’m being honest here I would check the gf heavily. She is fighting way too hard against a very reasonable rule in a place she doesn’t own. She’s going to the point of using shaming language to get her way. That’s a huge red flag. I would keep my eyes very wide open op. She is directly putting his desires above yours
Drop her.
Every time you attempt to establish boundaries she’ll pull this crap.
Manipulative.
Run.
The thing that urls me is ur gf immediately calling you jealous. When people do that they usually cheat or have cheated
So what you’re saying is neither your girlfriend or her friend respect you….in your own home. I bet she can’t go over there because he has a jealous girlfriend himself that doesn’t know he’s going to your place
You never know a dogs story for them to be the way they are at an adult age. I get it when something happens where a dog becomes defensive. I have a dog that is dog aggressive due to being attacked twice by off leash dogs. Animals are animals, and that’s why if you have a dog like that, you HAVE to take precautions and set them up for success. Taking a dog into an environment that would tempt them in such a way and trigger them, you absolutely are failing them as an owner. Him taking his aggressive dog that likes chasing cats to your house with a cat is the equivalent of me taking my dog aggressive dog to a dog park. It’s irresponsible, asking for an accident to happen, and overall stupid af.
The guy is a jackass, but the most disturbing part of this is that your GF is willing to take the risk of your cat getting hurt or killed! A Rottweiler against a house cat? All it takes it one bite, and it’s over. I would sincerely rethink a relationship with someone who holds little regard for your pet and cares more about this guy coming around with his Rottweiler time bomb than your comfort and your cat’s safety.
Why does she want this guy around so badly with this dog?? For someone to risk safety just to have someone over is weird at best. For someone to bring an aggressive dog everywhere expecting them to be welcomed is also weird at best. Tbh, it doesn’t even sound like he’s addressing the aggression. He just wants his big scary dog with him like it’s a d*ck measuring contest to impress people.
Honestly it sounds like a deal breaker she obviously cares more about him and his dog then you and your cat
Sorry you broke up. But she obviously has no respect for you or your home. I have 2 dogs I would never bring them to someone elses house, unless there was an emergency and they were invited. Sounds like her and her friend are entitled. Remember that if she comes crawling back. You deserve someone who respects you. Not all dogs are cat friendly or they need to be trained to not chase. Very disrespectful
I see you broke up with her. Good on you. If I was a gambling man (I am) I’d bet they’re smashing as we speak.
She’s going to be banging Rottweiler guy shortly I’d bet money on it. Even if not she sucks and doesn’t care about you or respect you, you dodged a bullet