I left my boyfriend of one year a few months ago and moved across the state, and after I got through the worst of the grief over that breakup… I started the checkups 🫣 I mean looking at his public instagram, his work, his friends… in my head I just want to know he’s ok, he’s still doing his hobbies, make sure he shaves his depression beard. And I guess I like to revisit the life I completely cold turkey left.
I still treasure our funny pictures and videos together, but we totally do not interact in any way anymore (his choice). I miss him terribly, but I also wouldn’t go back to the relationship without big changes (him getting therapy, for one). Nothing dramatically awful happened between us, it was just time to go our separate ways. So it’s different from my other relationships where I blocked them / never wanted to see them ever again / wished they were unwell or whatever. I still want him to thrive and I wonder often how he’s doing… so I check 🫣
Logically this seems unhealthy right? Like a practice that helps nobody? So how do I stop???
tl;dr After the non-dramatic end to a positive relationship, how do I (22f) stop the urge to check on him (22m) through his social media when we’re no-contact?
2 comments
I blocked the last person I dated on everything after we broke up. It wasn’t a bad end, things just wouldn’t work out in the long term and it fucking hurt to see her thrive and have fun and eventually move on with someone else while I drowned in my misery. Blocking her and staying off of social media in general so I didn’t have to see the pictures she was tagged in or uploaded helped me heal and move on and find a new relationship.
Block them. It’s become a problem for you. You could explain it to them first if you want, but you’re probably better off just blocking them so you can’t see them.