Maybe it’s because he’s tired too but he lashes out at me and stops speaking to me for weeks. Just to come and have a “conversation” where he yells at me, tells me I’m lacking and stunting our growth, then he leaves. There’s so much backstory that I wouldn’t even know where to start. I’m just hurt because I do try but it’s not enough. It’s never enough.
8 comments
Ruh roh
See if he will try counciling with you. This is abusive behavior. If he chooses not to change, then you have to accept that you can’t change him. You will have to decide for yourself what actions you want to take.
I would start with individual therapy first then couples counseling… this lashing out is not okay. Him having to come at you with so much energy right off the bat tells me this has been going on for sometime if thats where he starts. You two need a break and figure some healthy communication skills and marriage tools
And it never will be enough. You need to realize that. He will never change. He’s abusive. He wants to upset you and put you down and he wants you to not feel like enough.
You need to feel you are enough to not put up with this crap anymore.
I think you are enough and deserve better.
This is [emotional abuse](https://www.verywellmind.com/identify-and-cope-with-emotional-abuse-4156673). It’s important that you recognize that you don’t have a [healthy relationship](https://www.thehotline.org/resources/healthy-relationships/) and that it’s unlikely to improve. Now, what would you tell your daughter to do if they came to you with this?
I am separated….free for dinner?
Good conversation, attention paid to you…Toronto area.
My wife says she tries, her definition of trying is dramatically different then mine.
My wife is tired and sore from work and so am I, but I would never be mad at her because of it.
I don’t need any background to know he is just being an asshole. I can’t even imagine not speaking to my wife for one day let alone a week