So I was at a store and started talking to the cashier. I thought she was super cute and we chatted and laughed it up. I usually don’t like asking out people while they work, but I was like whatever and asked her out for coffee.
She said yeah and then asked how old I was. I told her 25 and she was like “oh. Well I’m 18” and we kinda laughed and stood there awkwardly. So she said, “well. Do you want my number?” And I didn’t want to hurt her feeling so I said yes. I could have also subconsciously been like “fuck it”.
I was kinda bummed though. I enjoyed our conversation and I mustered up the courage to ask her out and I wouldn’t mind taking her on a date. I told one friend and they were like “eh her friends were probably like , ‘that’s a grown man. He’s trying to groom you.’” So then I felt creepy. Like if I take her on a date would be grooming her?? I don’t know if that’s how grooming works, but hearing someone say that made me feel gross.
I asked another friend what they thought and they were like “well you haven’t been on a date in a while. Maybe just see where it goes, make it known you aren’t looking for something super committed and enjoy each others company. Nothing wrong with getting coffee”. That seems nice, but I still worry people will think I’m a creep.
Should I just forget about it?
Tl;Dr
Asked out a cashier I got along with pretty well. Turned out she was 18. Wouldn’t mind going on a date but I feel like a creep.
7 comments
I don’t think that’s too big an age gap. I’m guessing the two of you have more in common than you expect.
It’s coffee and she is an adult . If she turns out to act too immature for you because she is 7yrs younger, you can always not ask her out for a second date.
It’s not like you sought her out based on her age. It’s a bit of an age gap, but she’s an adult and honestly I’ve heard worse. Give it a go, you don’t seem to have any creepy intentions.
It’s unlikely to work out because around 26 you’ll be in a different place than her…our brains don’t really fully develop until 25 so age gaps before 25 is just asking for heartache. This is why most marriages below 25 don’t work out too well.
I was 25 when I started dating my 18 year old wife. Now I’m 40 and we are still together. You are both consenting age, and quite close in age, I definitely don’t see the problem.
How does one ‘groom’ an adult, exactly? I swear, give it 5 years and any dude dating a 20 year old is going to be accused of being a paedophile…
This is a huge gulf at the stages in life you’re both at. She’s just out of high school and you’ve been out of that stage for seven years. She’s not your equal and she’s not your peer.
She’ll likely have trouble asserting her opinions, she’ll default to your decisions and she’ll be put in positions that she’s not mature enough to handle. Be the adult and leave her alone. Find someone your own age.