My desperation for a girlfriend is showing

16 comments

1. Don’t overdo it and you’ll be fine

2. I don’t recommend this for everyone, but what worked for me was repeatedly getting my heart broken until I wasn’t even interested in dating. For the next 3 years, I focused on excelling at work and enjoying my own company – I ended up dating more in those three years than all of my early-and-mid-20s combined (and they always pursued me). Now I’ve got a LTR with someone who loves me probably more than they should!

   But seriously skip the getting your heart broken part, and just figure out what you actually value and enjoy. Real confidence comes from knowing yourself and loving yourself, no matter how much of an asshole you are – but if you’re also genuinely pouring into other people’s buckets positivity and growth, you really become magnetic.

3. The bad news is, it often does show to the ones who see these kinds of things.
   The good news is, not everyone minds.

   This goes for both guys and girls, in my experience, just not the the same extent – like sure, if you are perceived as needy, some people you are attracted to have less interest in you because of the neediness. But keep in mind that nobody is perfect anyhow, everyone has got their own insecurities and chances are someone is perfectly fine with the fact that you are who you are and where you are in life right now.

   If you desperately want to not look desperate, then sure you can try and fake it (good luck), but the better approach is to actually work on yourself and your life so that your happiness doesn’t depend on a girlfriend necessarily. People will find you very attractive and intriguing once they see you do awesome shit for yourself and that you are happy, having a good time.

4. I was called out by my crush freinds or brothers/sisters three times to behave myself and stay away from crush. But to still this day I try to keep my intentions clear which exactly you should do .You should always send the message in clear way “I want to fuck you” not “I want to be your brother” girls will take your advantage if you show the weakness/desperation .Don’t show desperation in wrong way and come off as a simp instead show desperation such you are “fuck god” and you will find someone else no need to decrease self-value

5. You aren’t missing anything. Women today aren’t the way they used to be.

6. Going through it now my guy. Shit sucks

7. The right girl won’t give a damn honestly.

   Rock your urge to be with one with confidence and let the fakes weed themselves out.

8. Hi I’ve been in a similar position. It sucks but honestly, the best thing I did was not try to date. Which sucked as everyone around me was, looking back I do not regret it. After spending a couple years working on myself I was in a better place to date.

   Focus on what makes you happy. Spend time with your friends, enjoy nights out too late, travel, has random sex. Being in a relationship is not necessary to have a full life.

   Along the line you.might meet a woman who shares your interests and the two of you can make a life together.

9. Dude find some hobbies. Any worthwhile girl is going to be turned off by your desperation. You’re too focused on something you can never control. Quality women are naturally attracted to to confident men. Sorry to be blunt.

10. I know what you mean… I think… But on the other hand, what exactly does that look like for you? When you say that it’s “showing”, in what ways is it showing?

    I can think of two very different ways this “shows”

    Are you finding it hard to focus in a conversation with a new acquaintance because of interfering thoughts? Maybe you’re worrying about what to say, or how to take things to the next step? Or you’ve got a voice in your head telling you all these negative things while you’re standing there talking to this girl you like? If it’s this, then you will need to work on silencing those thoughts and staying present in those moments. Listen to the girl, not the voice in your head. That voice is distracting you and she can probably tell you’re not really listening. You’re responses might not make that much sense because you haven’t been fully tracking the conversation. Learning to focus on the conversation even when you feel anxious will help it to not “show” anymore.

    Or are you feeling low and depressed and it’s making it hard to be yourself when you go out and try to talk to people? It’s really hard when your tank is empty to put on a happy face, and then the problem is people are only seeing this version of you that isn’t who you are, it’s just who you are when you’re depressed and alone. The best way to help with this is to find other non-romantic connections in the community. Trivia club, hiking club, volunteering, anything that gets you around more people who can fill your tank a little bit, so that you’re not so thirsty will help. Also, music that lifts your spirits, exercise, eating well and sleeping… all help.

    I don’t know anyone who hasn’t felt lonely and desperate for connection at some point in their lives. It’s a pretty universal feeling, if you live long enough. It’s easier than ever to socialize online but feels harder than ever to make real life connections. Best of luck to you

11. You don’t say your age, but it doesn’t affect my answer too terribly much. I am going to assume you are a young male in your 20’s or 30’s. But no matter what age, desperation is never attractive and it can be hard to hide.
    People who are desperate tend to try too hard, and try to be what the other person wants and not themselves.
    My best advice is to engage yourself in social events that interest you. Hiking group, riding, art, sports, anything you are passionate about.
    We all are our best selves when we are doing something we are passionate about. We are the most confident when doing something we know about, we have more to talk about, and we tend to get so wrapped up in what we are doing we forget about who’s watching.
    No matter what your interest is, there will either be women who also enjoy that activity or there will be people there who know a single woman.
    I used to run a daycare. My husband played beer league baseball. A really cute single mom mentioned she liked playing ball. We invited her to a game and well, her and one of the guys on the team have been together 15 years.
    I have met most of the men in my life through a mutual friend. You just never know.
    Be pleasant with everyone you meet, smile at people you pass on the street. Get a cute dog, women love dogs and a dog will be there when no one else will, love you unconditionally, and always be happy to see you.
    Be your best self at all times. Be kind and be genuine. Don’t compromise your values, don’t be too anxious, don’t give more than you are getting. Let them make some of the effort, let them meet you half way. Don’t rush a relationship, let the girl breath. It is human nature to want what you can’t have, that goes for both males and females.
    We can all think of a million reasons why we need to call the person; 20 times a day. Don’t! It’s creepy. Don’t show up every where she is, she can’t miss you or wonder what you’re doing if you are always around.
    Be busy living the best life you can live and when you least expect it, she will be right there under your nose.
    Good luck!

12. I recommend to meet a girl through a natural way. Ways such as through family, friends, work, church, even becoming a regular at a restaurant. By simply putting yourself out there and just talking to girls here and there, it helps to give some peace of mind along with experience and practice for your eventual girlfriend. Make sure to just be natural, be yourself and have a positive mindset because that is key my friend. Keep positive affirmations.

13. Broo.. increase your value..this way you’ll attract people..that includes girls..learn new skills..build yourself..

14. What you have can be a blessing or a curse. You have a strong desire to love and be loved. That is beautiful. Channeling that desire appropriately will be the problem. Appearing desperate or needy is nearly a universal turn off so try to channel the desire into actions that show that you’re interested in something serious, when she’s ready.

    Just a generalization, but, in my experience as a woman, we vet the relationship from the outside first. Meaning, it seems that men are willing to jump into a relationship faster than women. Women like to take their time and really get to know you before they get comfortable. So, put hat energy in to trying to let her be comfortable. Don’t put it into following or frantic texting and calling. Do put it into planning a date or event and inviting her. Do put it into thoughtful gifts or compliments. Do put it into a little extra effort to look and feel your best.

    There’s nothing wrong with wanting to love someone, that’s a great thing to want, so don’t feel embarrassed about it. Own it and recognize that you are a catch because you want someone that much, and you are (hopefully) willing to be the best you can be for them.

15. I think it might help you to spend some time thinking about what qualities in a girl would make for a compatible girlfriend for you? Someone quiet or talkative? Someone assertive or passive? Someone serious or goofy?

    Your desperation could lead you into a miserable relationship. Most people would rather be alone than stuck in a bad relationship. Would you?

    Also, if you would happily date any girl and you don’t care whether she has a personality, that’s understandable BUT it probably shows. No girl wants to be picked at random or feel like you don’t really care what she is like.

    Instead of worrying about making moves, focus on learning things about people and girls… and think about what kind of people you enjoy spending a lot of time with and what qualities they have. Look for those qualities so that you’re not wasting time going for girls who you are not likely to be compatible with anyway.

16. Then fuxking get one!! Simple as that man. Then what?