Been a few rough years. Not trying to make excuses for either of us. We both dropped the ball but she wants a divorce. I don’t.
She said she is not “in love” with me any more. Feeling is pretty much mutual right now but I won’t give up. I can’t. She wants to split but can’t afford to leave right now. Can that time be used wisely?
Has anyone fallen back in love? How long did it take? What did you do? Why did you fall out of love? Was the want of the split one sided or two? Kids?
Send the details even if I didn’t state it here in my question.
7 comments
Yes I think you two can fall back in love but you have to understand what really happened to cause the love to break apart…
You had some rough years… okay what about them was so rough? Is there any blame that you can take responsibility for? What are you doing to be a healthy person? What are you doing to be an attractive partner? What are you doing to feed your spiritual wellness? Have you been addressing your emotional issues and feelings in a healthy way?
She loved you once before but there is now an emotionally wall between you of pains said and not said and fights not fought or finished. You need to address these but first you need to take care of yourself and change yourself to be the better person you are and not the person you were.
Its over but I don’t hear the fat lady singing so there is hope but it will only last as long as you put action into movement and not hope for change
people fall back in love all the time. Hell, usually it’s with *exes*.
Defiantly possible, but not without commitment from BOTH. If she’s not fully committed, there will not be success (in my opinion). She needs to heal whatever is missing within herself outside of herself that caused the desire to disappear.
Of course, it’s possible. All the ingredients are still there, you just have to put them back together in the right way. Often, after marriage and kids, we stop seeking out ways to have fun with and impress each other. Start doing the things you did when you were dating again, and try new stuff together. Do more than just get your work and chores done.
Yes, you can rekindle your love for one another. Since you are in somewhat of a hiatus of your marriage, go back to your beginnings. What were you doing when you fell in love? What did you do to keep her attracted to you until you got married? Use this type of dating to show her you still love her. You also need to sit down and talk through your issues so they can be resolved as well. Read books on marriage, especially by Drs, Les & Leslie Parrott.
It’s definitely possible. My husband and I have done it a couple of times after some seriously rough patches. Growing apart, pointing fingers. Letting anger and resentment build. Loss of intimacy and physical affection.
What saved us is, even at the point of thinking about separating, we realized we still loved each other, and to stay married.
We both recommitted to our marriage. Worked on our behaviors and actions. How we spoke to each other. Daily reaffirmation, emotionally supportive. Being physically affectionate and intimate again.
One person can’t save a marriage. Either you’re both in or you have to accept they aren’t invested in saving what you had.
As long as there isn’t infidelity, yes you can make it work.