K so for context me f(20) and this guy (m20) met on the train last month, we hit it off fairly well he seems great, and now r seeing each other casually cuz I don’t want anything serious atm, as I recently ended a serious relationship. He’s also not that ambitious which I value in a long term partner, which is why I don’t see any long-term potential in him so just keeping it casual.
We basically hooked up twice but w out f*cking him and have not given head, due to my personal reasons (waiting till marriage to acc have s*x). I explained to him and he seemed to understand, but idk if he truly is ok w it and will continue to push my s*xual boundaries further. we’ve seen each other irl 2 times so far after meeting him on the train, one of them being my bday.
BUT when we met up 2 weeks ago, he brought about what I believe to be a red flag for me (I’m not sure if I’m overreacting tho). So as we were hooking up he kept encouraging me to put my mouth on his d*** to eventually give him head and when I told him “no I’m not comfortable” quite a few times, he was like “cmon just think of it like sucking a popsicle” which he repeated a good 2-3 times and told me how it feels good when girls give head, like I get it. But I personally think oral is gross and I don’t wanna risk getting any stds hahaha 🤣 (no offence to anyone here tho who does it, just my personal take).
No matter how many times he tried to convince me, I did not suck him and I didn’t let him eat me out either ESP not when he kept saying stuff like that, I found it extremely off putting of him continuing to push me even if I were to have s*x with him. After a good 3-4 times of me saying no, he did accept and stop asking me, I don’t think his intentions were bad, but idk still how to feel about everything. I just feel like no guy truly understands the importance of consent and boundaries anymore, like no means no right (even my ex tried to force me into sexual acts I didn’t know much about or feel comfortable doing), tbh I have very little faith in men these days haha.
He’s good company as a person, but I’m not sure if it’s a good idea for me to see him again after what transpired and idk if I want to. Idk he seems to be pretty into me in spite of that (he said he’d be open to long term relationship w me on the first real date when I asked what he is looking for, I don’t feel that way tho abt him Esp not after what he did). Like he added many of my social media accts and engages w my content, checks in on me and texts me first (even after I didn’t text him for over a week after that day), other guys I talked to before are horrible texters.
All things considered, should I continue to see him or should I break things off? I also don’t wanna hurt his feelings if I do cut him off, so how should I go about that?
4 comments
Why bother? You see no future with him, and dates are going to continue to be him pressuring for sex. Opt out.
You don’t seem to be into him; you’re not interested in intimate/sexual activity; seeing someone irl 2 times after meeting isn’t even ‘casual dating’ – honestly it sounds like you’re kind of lonely and not really sure what you want in a partner. Probably move on – I’m sure he’ll be fine.
wait wait wait, you have a friends with benefits, but you are not engaging in penetrative nor oral sex because you want to wait for marriage? That is the worst kind of friends with benefits i have ever heard about.
No he doesn’t respect you.