I genuinely dont know how to meet new people

Hey im a 23yo from France and was plagued for the past 4 years with depression and few other things that made my life really tough to live through.

But after taking time (2years) to heal and focus on myself and find my own happiness within me and not just depending on others i consider myself fine right now and i’m glad at how things are right now 🙂

Last thing i kind of want to change tho is how i deal with social interraction. I am a very introverted person and my social anxiety is beyond stupid at points. I grew a personna that allowed me to always be and act like a fool to at least make ppl laugh and try to fit in. This didnt really worked out in my past as i felt isolated even tho i had many friends.

Now i really want to try to free myself of what i now feel like are shackles around me and try to be a more outgoing person.

Problem is… i am terrified of others. Friends and stranger alike. I always feel like i’m doing “too much” or that im not there at the right that at the right moment. Always bothering them. Like yeah at school im talking to as much ppl as i can. Clowning around. But i can never allow myself to go further than just small talk colleague. I mean yeah i try but when i see ppl on my class planning parties or whatever i literally cannot process the thought of being like “yo looks cool can i come?” I feel terrible when i feel like im forcing myself into people. (Idk how to say that in another way, sorry not native english)

And yeah i get it. You cant be best friends with everyone but like. I kind of want real life friends ? Yeah i met my best friends through internet but it’s been like 10 years at that point i forgot how to do that lol.

This goes the same for relationship. I had my time with relationship and dont really want to be with someone right now. But if i wanted to.. literally how ? I always dated girls i was in class with. But this is never happening again as if bad break up there is. Class will be so uncomfortable after, like avoiding the other and so on, like eww i hate that.

I get that usually when people ask that in here there’s the usual answer of “idk find a hobby and talk to ppl there” but i legit dont have time for that. I go to school from 8am to 6pm. Then go to the gym for 2 hours. (And yeah talking to people when they’re focus on their workout is a big NO for me) And then between going back to my place. Washing myself, cooking and stuff. It’s already 9-10pm so how ? When i have time off and feel like being outside i usually go and do some shopping, go for a walk around town, read somewhere nice. But same story here, going to talk to random stranger ? Thats feels both terrifying and incredibly rude to them! I dont want to bother them/ruin a date if they’re a couple. Dont want to scare a lone girl. Dont want to annoy a random dude going by his day. What to do actually say to those people ? “Hey sorry to interrupt i felt like talking!” Thats sounds so weird to me.

And i have a darn face that makes me look like i want to murder you all the time even tho it’s my normal face 🙁 since i was young people always tells me i look mean or whatever. I feel like im scaring ppl off lol

I know this is a lot of rambling and non organized thought but i wanted help/advices regarding all of that!