Okay so this is the first time one posted to reddit so sorry if i don’t do this right- my perception is that people get really into rules and stuff (like is just venting okay?). I have ocd so I already feel like I’m doing something wrong. But ill ask anyway and tbh i don’t care that much but also don’t want people to say mean things because i already feel sad and vulnerable. I want to discover a good place on the internet so any suggestions are welcome if this isn’t really the place.
Anyway…
I don’t understand why people don’t respond to my texts. I have very low expectations so I’m not even talking about within a day or two or responses to meaningless texts. Right now i specifically have two friends that i sent meaningful/interesting and caring texts to literally 2 months ago that just never responded.
One is someone that originally reached out to me to keep in touch almost two years ago. Usually he responds within 2 weeks. Even then i get anxiety and feel sad. He also has his own issues but does clearly have friends he communicates way more regularly with. I don’t understand why i would be such a low priority. I swear I’m pretty pleasant to be around and have a good connection with this person.
The other is a friend i met a year ago in the city i live in who i bonded with a lot and for a while was initiating conversations and plans. I know she has adhd, but would that make her forget about me for months?
I’m just really sad to be so low on people’s list that they never respond. I really admire these people too and can’t think of anything that happened that would have made things go sour.
I also get that people have a lot of emails and texts to respond to and social burnout is real- but I am really sick of getting the short end of the stick with people i really care about. Ive never been very social and don’t have social media so i might get 1 text a day from a family member if I’m really lucky. My boyfriend is the only person that has ever been consistently reliable and i love him for that (we do text during the day in a normal way). I hate feeling needy because i don’t feel like i am asking for much. I genuinely can’t understand this culture of social burnout when i feel like I’m desperate for people to communicate with me. I suppose i just need validation from people on the internet which i feel like i shouldn’t need, but I’m just a human and just angry right now.
4 comments
You may look at them as closer friends then they do you…so where YOU prioritize sending them msgs, they may not view responding as a “priority”.
It is ok to reach out and check on people, but honestly if they don’t respond after that much time, you have to let it go…
They could be like me, i hate texting Alot. Too taxing on my brain.. But who knows, also maybe try r/hsp
They don’t sound like true friends
The harsh truth is if other people are ignoring you like this, but have plenty of time to talk to others, it could be that they don’t see value in interacting with you. People attach you to the value you bring, not necessarily how long you have known them. People need to have a convincing reason to include and interact with you, let alone do these things constantly.
What are your interactions with people like, especially in person ? Do you try to genuinely connect with them ? Do you share things about yourself and do they share things about themselves ? Or do you just stick to polite small talk ? What sort of skill(s)/hobby(s)/talent(s) do you have ? Do they relate to other people’s interests ? Could they benefit others ?
Read all the tips listed here, especially the ones on genuinely connecting with people and adding value to people’s lives: https://www.reddit.com/r/socialskills/comments/trlexh/how_to_avoid_being_needy_or_stop_being_needy/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf