TL;Dr: Back in 2020, I did make out with a man twice. During 2nd meet, he asked for sex and I refused to have sex with him (In a polite way). This is the guy whom I REALLYY LIKED and was excited and happy to meet him.
After making out, he mentioned one girl and said “she is more uglier than me” (which means I am already ugly) and mentioned another girl and he said “she was so hot, she was so sexy, blah blah” (later I came to know this girl and apparently she is some former beauty pageant contestant) and compared me with 5 other girls.
He is coming back after 1 year and now asking for second chances. It’s been 2 years since this incident happened and I can’t believe I still cry and feel depressed about it. My self esteem is destroyed. I have some bitterness and resentment due to that incident. Any advice on how to move on ?
10 comments
“No thanks, I don’t sleep with people who think I’m ugly.”
Definitely don’t make out with him again. I’d tell him it’s nice he wants another chance but you’ve moved on, no thanks.
It’s taken me a lot of years to realize this, but beauty really is in the eye of the beholder. This guy may have found you unattractive, but that doesn’t make it objectively true. It’s just his opinion. It’s also possible that he subscribes to the idiotic idea that if you give a woman a backhanded compliment, you’ll lower her esteem and make her more vulnerable, so he may not have even meant it.
Either way, he’s shown he’s an ugly person by his behavior. I can’t value the opinion of everyone in this world, so I only give that power to people who are worthy of influencing me. This guy shouldn’t come close to that bar.
Tell him sorry, you don’t date men unless they rate at least a 5 out of 10 on your hotness scale.
Ew, tell him no, and block him, you don’t need his shadow hanging around.
Then go out with your friends and fam and go have fun. Focus of loving yourself first.
Romance will come later.
The relationship advice is: don’t.
The getting over it advice is to surround yourself with friends that remind you that if he doesn’t respect your boundaries without comapring you to other girls and manipulating you then he can go to hell. There are better men out there.
OP. You aren’t ugly.
He was negging you. He hoped you’d be so insecure you’d try to prove your worth by sleeping with him.
You weren’t that insecure. You rock and you’re awesome and he sucks.
I recommend laughing at him. “Lol no thanks” is all that is needed. Be strong OP.
He came back to you after 2 years asking a second chance like a puppy
There is no better advice than this
Smile now and move on ❤️🧠
Tell to shove off. You can do better than him
> It’s been 2 years since this incident happened and I can’t believe I still cry and feel depressed about it. My self esteem is destroyed. I have some bitterness and resentment due to that incident.
You have given this guy real estate in your brain for way too long. He tried to make you feel bad about yourself so you’d give in and have sex with him. He’s trash for talking about other women in front of you and I can’t believe he’s coming back for a second try. I really hope you find your self confidence and self worth and understand that you deserve better.
Ditch this loser.
He is using this twisted technique called ‘negging’ where he insults/back-handed compliments you to make you want to please him.
It is cruel and artificial and only works on very insecure women just long enough to get you to sleep with him. After which he will ghost you or use you solely for sex.
Don’t fall for his bullshit and find a guy who is genuine