What would you do if your partner asks you to quit your job because they’ll take care of you financially?

32 comments

1. I’d laugh and walk away

2. Fuck no. I will not want to lose momentum in my career or control over being able to care for myself.

3. No, I hate cleaning and I like working outside the house. I like chatting with my co-workers, I like working with clients, and I like learning/practicing skills for money on a daily basis. I would need a life outside my partner and my hobbies would not fulfill me in that way.

4. Unless there’s a viable reason, like we have kids and the cost of daycare is more than my salary, then no. I like working and would go absolutely insane with nothing to do but figure out how to entertain myself all day.

5. I’d prob still keep my job maybe become part time instead cz I can’t see myself not working plus you don’t want to lose your independence

6. Nope. I’ve been financially at the hands of someone else and I’m not leaving myself in that position ever again.

7. NO.

8. No way, couldn’t let someone else bc in charge of my financial well-being.

9. No thanks. A relationship doesn’t always lasts so what happens then??

10. Say no and move on. If they press it we’d have to have larger conversations about respect and boundaries, and then if they continued to press it break up

11. Absolutely not. I have no desire to be taken care of or be dependent on anyone. I also enjoy my job and find it very fulfilling. I’d be very sad to give it up, because it’s something that actually brings me joy.

    And being financially dependent on someone else makes it very hard to leave a relationship if the need/want arises. I’ve heard too many cases of women being trapped in bad situations because their partner controlled the income and they had nothing of their own.

12. Hell no. I don’t want either of us to be in a position where only one of us is earning a substantial wage. That would put both of us in a precarious position, since it’s possible to have a medical emergency at any time or need to quickly leave your job for some other reason.

    If my husband and I had kids and it made financial sense for one of us to temporarily work part-time, maybe I’d consider that, but I would not leave a job outright to be “taken care of.” I’d love more time for hobbies, but not like this.

13. Put my two weeks in immediately.

14. “Lol, no.”

    Financial independence is freedom.

    You never know what could happen, and he would always have the upper hand.

    Want space? Too bad can’t afford it.

    Want some thing he doesn’t want to pay for? Too bad, can’t afford it.

    He does something warranting breaking up? How will you afford leaving? It’ll be hard, take much longer.

    Big nope unless there is some form of monetary compensation for running the household (and using your tax credits, in certain countries).

15. No don’t do it.

    Be financially independent.

16. I like money. So why not both of us make money?

    Besides, I like working. My wife makes enough for me to stay home and vice versa but we both choose to keep working. Early retirement is a goal!

17. I’ll give notice I’m leaving my career when the 3rd shovelful of dirt hits the lid of my coffin. I’ve fully earned and paid for where I am and I fully intend to keep going.

18. Nope. I don’t want to be financially dependent on anyone.

19. No thank you, I like being financially independent.

20. I’d still want to work.

21. When I was younger this was my dream, simply because my only ambition in life was to get married and have children.

    I’m now mid 30s, childless and single and I can’t think of anything worse than someone asking me to give up the career I’ve worked so hard for.

22. I wouldn’t give up working completely, but it would be nice to have the freedom to work a job of my choosing and not have to worry about the amount I’m making.

23. Mine did this and I said I wasn’t ready for that. I’m also not very comfortable asking for money everytime I want something especially if it’s not a necessity.

    What I did is kept a part time job, am able to stay social and be involved in all sorts of hobbies.

24. As much as I’d love not having to work and being able to use that energy to improve my daily life (I have chronic post-stroke fatigue), I would feel too guilty about the stress that would cause my partner to be able to take him up on the offer.

25. Growing up with a financially abusive parent, I would never willingly put myself in that situation.

26. I didn’t quit my job as I had just completed my support worker program. My ex husband at the time suggested I could stay at home as he made enough financially to take care of us and future kids. I got pregnant months later and stuck with being a stay at home. Don’t do it.
    I lost myself, no identity whatsoever besides being a mom. Separated now and starting from 0. Stick to what you do and bring income as well. You’ll feel much better still having your independence.

27. YEAH FUCK NO!!! never again will I put myself in that situation. My experience was bad, didn’t start out bad but then the little things started with controlling the finances and the bs of HIS money, HIS house HIS car insurance. Everything was I wouldn’t have anything of it wasn’t for him. Then the controlling of how much money was spent on groceries or having to ask for money to go to lunch or buy something for myself.

    When I wanted to end the relationship I didn’t have any money if my own. Thankfully I still had a support system to help me leave. I will never let someone have complete financial control of me ever again.

    My husband and I run our business together have joint accounts and separate accounts for our “mad money”. I feel much more secure that way

28. I feel that’s how most DV situations begin! I’ve met a few who have this in their relationships and it’s so silly when their SO doesn’t want to give them money, so they can’t go wherever / do whatever they pleased. Go back home at that point

    Now if they give you actual money, in your own account.. like an allowance that is similar to a minimum wage… maybe maybe. But just asking my SO for money is not for me.
    I already had that growing up I don’t need that now.

29. I’m already in a situation where my husband of 20 plus years is the breadwinner. It’s fine for us.

30. I’d quit in a heartbeat and be quite happy at home. My hobby is a bit of a moneymaker and I would keep that up because it’s fun.

31. I’d become a dog mom. Head over to the dog park daily, have a nice jump in the lake, give baths, vaccuum up the fur 🙂 So much fun. Eventually I’d get bored and probably start up a regular dogwalking business so that my dog can have buddies! My partner has basically agreed that he’d be fine with it. Fortunately I do also enjoy my actual job 😊

32. Honestly I’d love it but I’d be too worried about the imbalance of power/if our relationship broke down. I can’t go back to working after being a kept woman.