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Disappointed
Disgusted, and if it’s the first time I’m at their place it’s probably not that serious yet, so I’d run for the hills.
Slovenly behavior is a small part of a much larger issue. It’s a huge red flag for an adult to be a slob.
If I hadn’t even visited their home yet, they wouldn’t be a partner, but someone I’d been dating for a while.
Either way, I’d break it off the same day. Not being able or willing to keep a clean and decently neat home is an instant dealbreaker. Whatever reasons or issues lies behind that kind of behavior, it’s not something I’m going to deal with. I’m not going to set foot in a disgusting house, I’m not going to open up my own home for a slob, and I’m not going to be their therapist/housekeeper/mum.
I’d be concerned about their mental health/ executive function
Annoyed and anxious. I am not interested in being a grown man’s mom. Plus I get insane anxiety in crowded or messy spaces.
Concerned because there’s only room for one slob in this relationship, and I’ve already filled that role.
Dealbreaker. If they’re old enough to have their own place but don’t keep it clean they won’t keep clean a mutually owned place. You’ll have to do ALL the cleaning and it’ll cause resentment. JMHO
He really couldn’t be worse than me. I had the opposite experience with my husband, I found out he is crazy anal about keeping his place clean, and I was like exposure therapy for him.
I wouldn’t really care, as long as they were willing to improve I can’t really ask for much more.
Exhausted pity.
When I first started staying over my girlfriend’s place, I cleaned her entire apartment, she wasn’t really a slob, but the deep cleaning wasn’t happening
I imagine if she was a huge slob, I would have done the same thing
That would be a nope from me
[removed]
It would be an instant turn off and we should probably have a conversation about that matter before making any decision about the relationship
Leave and never to talk to the person. A partner being a slob is a deal breaker for me.
Did they give a reason? I spend 12 hours a work day towards work. Minus 8 hours for sleep I have 4 total hours to emotionally unwind and clean my area. I’m a trans women so I can’t speak for a cis women. However their might be a valid reason. Idk how slobby they were but when I invite someone over. I can only clean the upstairs or the downstairs before they get over ontop of shaving my parts and legs. So chances are one floor will looks like a slobs floor and my downstairs will look fresh. Their might be a reason for their snobbishness. That’s not an excuse just life can be tough
I ignored my ex’s filthy room at first because I knew he was super busy and probably just wasn’t a neat freak like me. He was also super kind so it didn’t mean that much initially. However it became one of our biggest battles over time, especially when we moved in together. If I had to do it all over again I probably would’ve dated him still but decided we should have our own apartments due to this difference. Overall he was a really great partner to me but I truly felt like I was going to have a nervous breakdown most days because of how dirty he was. So I really don’t have a great answer I guess lol.
Deal breaker. That is a reflection of their character and/or mental health. I want somebody who can take care of themselves and their surroundings. I’m not their mom, I’m their partner.
My executive function is … uh … poor. If theirs is too, then we get to have the easiest conversation ever about if we move in then we can hire a cleaning person!
The worst is a functional partner because they never see the sense in outsourcing for pay.
Hard pass
If they didn’t even bother trying to clean up before I came over than I would feel like they’d never bother. Someone content to live like a slob isn’t something I can live with. I need to have my personal space tidy and organized because it helps me deal with my mental health better. Dating a slob would just be inviting stress and depression into my life.