I am realizing that I have no friends anymore. How do you make friends in your early 30s?

19 comments

1. You have to have hobbies that revolve around being outside. I mountain bike (really easy to meet people this way), hike, dive, surf and am trying to get into foraging for mushrooms. All these activists you can do with a group and make friends.

2. It’s so hard. Avoid one-off, transient things like bars, events/concerts, etc. You’ll rarely make a long-term friend that way. Think about why school and work can be such a good crucible for friendships. You have the same people showing up, at the same time, on a regular schedule and forced to interact. Join a hiking club, volunteer group, take a class, etc. It has to be something that provides forced interaction and repeat exposure.

3. I literally just spent an hour writing a post, with a similar issue (though I used many, many more words 😛 I have accepted I excel at verbosity).

   So I can’t offer help, but I can offer empathy. Being a not super extroverted human with niche hobbies that aren’t sports related, bar related, or child centric, seems to make creating new connections as a man, more challenging.

4. Hobbies man, also you if into Fortnite atm cause zero Builds is mad fun, message me. I got sick of the tryhards outbuilding me like it’s their job LoL

5. Older guy than you (47) who has been there. I recommend some group rec sport like softball, kickball, soccer – preferably coed because I find that group sports with women on the team are more fun and less serious in general. Too much testosterone means too serious in many cases.

   Alternative: Coach a sport – I’m currently coaching 9-10 flag football through the local community center and meet a lot of dads through that.

   I also recommend keeping in touch or getting back in touch with your 3 best friends. Find a way to keep that going, and plan to go visit – even if only for a weekend once a year. It’s good for your soul to reconnect with your oldest, best friends.

6. Running groups are a great way to meet people. You see the same folks often more than once a week. Some are more serious about training, some are more social.

   Not sure if this is your bag but that’s what I would do.

7. Same boat! I recommend trying at least one thing outside of your comfort zone not only to meet people but to learn something new! For me, that was dance class, and here I am a few years later loving it.

8. Look into F3 Nation. It’s free peer led mens workouts outdoors early mornings. Mostly southern USA, especially on the East Coast. I’ve made a ton of friends through that group. Good friends too- the kinds that will call you out on your shit and want you to be the best version of yourself.

9. We need a subreddit for that, like the R4R, but friends. 42 M (location) looking for a friend. Hobbies include XYZ.

10. You can’t meet friends as a male at 30. Forget about it. Been there, tried that.

    No one in 2022 30+ is trying to be friends.

    Maybe try a gender change because women have more success in this respect.

11. I think more of us are in the same boat than we want to admit and nobody knows what to actually do lol.

12. Hobbies are the way to go. Video games and table top games are my go to for making new friends.

13. Good close friends? Pretty tough man. I am sort of friends with one of my neighbors and sort of friends with one of my wife’s co-worker’s husbands. Most of my friends from college and after are around I guess but I haven’t called them either so I guess I’m cool with it?

14. I have been going to a poetry session that meets at a bar. Met a lot of new people.

    I also do meetup.

    I also take painting classes.

    Then of course the apps: tinder, bumble, etc.

15. Is there a climbing gym nearby? You already like gym stuff – climbing is super social and welcoming!

16. Bars, cigar lounges, gym.

17. MMA or Boxing classes/ gyms

18. I’ll be your friend 🙂

19. Hobbies