My boyfriend has a friend he’s very close with who openly doesn’t like me. I know he discusses our arguments with them for advice etc. and he let me know this friend doesn’t like “a single thing” they’ve heard about me. I can’t understand why because the arguments me and my boyfriend have had were never anything crazy, just general things couples fight about. They removed me on social media and told my boyfriend to tell me i can message them about it if i want to know why (?)
This is a person i’ve met once or twice a year ago and don’t know very well, my boyfriend has kept us separate for most of our relationship by not inviting me out with them etc. and i haven’t had much opportunity to get to know them.
My boyfriend has told me not to message them because “why would you want to ask someone why they don’t like you, you would just get your feelings hurt” when really i’m just wondering what i did to cause them to have such an issue with me.
I can’t help but wonder why my boyfriend isn’t concerned about his closest friend having a problem with me? Is it normal to not care if your girlfriend and best friend get along?
TL;DR boyfriends best friend doesn’t like me and makes it very clear, boyfriend doesn’t seem to mind
5 comments
Ohh girl lemme tell ya!! I’ve had the exact same thing but my fiances best friends wife & (also the best friend)
So, in the very beginning of my relationship with my man, yes we were fighting a lot bc we didn’t really understand each other like we do now, plus I was very young & really didn’t take my relationship seriously. But anyways so we did a double date with his one best friend & his now wife. The best friend will call his (S) his wife (H) my man (K)
So (S) didn’t have a problem with me whatsoever, liked me & everything but his wife omg!! She absolutely hating me for no reason. She controlled him into hating me saying he needed to stick by her but yet would be the biggest hypocrite ever towards us saying my man shoyld leave me blah blah blah.. The fact that she wore stilettos to play putput golf was the first red flag for me. Second was her character. She literally had that preppy stuck up bitchy vibe & was like full into herself. So since she’s very controlling, she told her (S) that he couldn’t be friends with (K) bc of me bc I didn’t fit into her fake delusional world & tried to control my relationship. So needless to say, my man & his friend wasn’t close anymore but still talk every now & then.
How I look at it this way is, your spouse should stick up for you yes that’s a must. When you have a family & kids grow up & leave or your parents are involved, at the end of the day it’ll always still be your spouse there waiting for you. Not your friends, not your spouses friends not family members, your spouse.
Yes (S) should have told (H) to knock off her childish shit & yes (K) did tell me to do this as well. She should have been the bigger person to actually get to know me before going off of what she’s hearing from the fights (K) & I had.
So I would sit you’ll man down & explain your thoughts & how you feel & he needs to put your feelings first before his friends. If he truly loves & cared for you, then he should have no problem with doing so. Whether he loses a friend or not. You need to set boundaries with that friend too. Then friend needs to remember he’s just a friend not part of the relationship. That friend could also be causing problems & your man is going along with it bc he doesn’t wanna upset him. It shouldn’t be normal, but it does happen. If he truly is a friend then he’ll respect your relationship no matter what..
She’s in love with him duh
If his friends are ONLY hearing about your arguments, that would be why. You shouldn’t message his friends to ask why they don’t like you, you should be asking your boyfriend why he’s telling his friends about all of your arguments and if they’ve heard anything GOOD about you. I highly doubt he’s shared any fun/cute/wholesome stories with them.
That’s not normal at all, your boyfriend should tell his friend that she needs to respect you and if she has any negative opinion, to keep it for her. But frankly, she never interacted with you so you never gave her any reason not to like you, so she is probably just jealous and territorial of your boyfriend which again is not normal.
Another problem is that he is discussing personal problems in your relationship with her which is showing he doesn’t respect you and your relationship.
I personally would not put up with all these shitty behaviours
I don’t see where you mentioned that the best friend is a female. But yeah your boyfriend is a little immature in my opinion. He shouldn’t have said anything but rather try to get you all together in a normal hanging out group of friends settings. This way you both can get to know each other better. Also he needs to shut his mouth a little about your guys problem. I mean they only hear his side of the story and I am sure it’s painting you in a horrible way. So maybe they just need to get to know you better.