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You can’t stop it and it’s okay, it’s not like you’re going to commit a crime to fulfill your desire, right? All you gonna do is look at some related art or video, it doesn’t hurt anyone. I have a thing too and I was really depressed about it, but it all went well after I just accepted it. Nearly all people have some kind of kink and fantasy, yours is just a bit clearer and stronger. It’s okay.
You shouldn’t have announced about ableist you are but too late
Suppressing thoughts like that can definitely lead to intrusive thoughts that can be harder to avoid/ignore. The sooner you can accept it as a part of yourself, imho, the better. As you said in the replies, you’re not even 18 yet, and I promise, desires like that can definitely shift through your life, so nothings saying that you’ll feel this way forever. Basically, explore what you like, and try to accept yourself!