I found my wife sexting another man, and they were planning to meet in-person a few days after if I had not confronted her about it.
I was aware of them playing game together and wanting to hangout in person. I guess I was naive, and because she didn’t have that many friends, I was glad that she found a group of friends to play game with. She told me that she planned to meet him to grab dinner and play board game, but when I confronted her after I learned about the sexting, she said they were only planning to watch porn and masturbate together, nothing more than that.
The incident happened a few months ago, and I thought I had forgive her, but I just found myself in a dumpster, emotionally drained and numb from the incident. I want to make our marriage work, but maybe due to the numbness, when she asked if I still love, I just don’t know. When my therapist asked why I was married in the first place, I cannot think of any valid reasons to tell her. Is this the end of our marriage? am I just prolonging the inevitable?
32 comments
You are prolonging the inevitable… Good luck man. Life is bigger than any relationship
If she cheats or tries to cheat its over, she isnt trustworthy and she will try again. If you didnt catch her she was gonna fuck this other guy, they werent gonna masterbate together, no one would meet up with a affair partner just to rub one out, they were gonna bang. Leave her and find better
If your wife is interested in other men! It is way past the time for you to act.
She is no longer your wife. You need to contact an attorney and move to divorce.
If she wants another man she can be single. After the divorce look for a better woman.
Nah get out before kids get involved
If you stay you pay
Meet up and crank only , almost spilled my coffee , so she was going to do him and he her…..🤔
Wonder how many others she has only cranked with
It can take years to get over a betrayal like this.
She will probably need individual therapy to figure out why she was willing to throw her marriage away for someone she’s never met.
If you want to save the relationship you need couples counseling.
At any point she could have told you how she was feeling, what she was lacking and she didn’t.
Unfortunately once this happens in a relationship the chances of the relationship success is about 15%.
She will have to do some hard work to earn your trust back and honestly she may never get it.
She has essentially killed who she was to you because before this I’m sure you never thought she would be capable of this kind of betrayal.
She was going to cheat. Do you honestly think it would have stopped at porn and watching each other get off?
Staying in the relationship is something that you really need to think about. But from the sounds of it she killed it.
Is this the end? Really son? Where is your self respect? If you’re not absolutely fired up of seeing in your mind your wife with another man to masturbate then let us all hook up as this is completely lost on you.
Get a divorce son, she’s already sending hot texts to another man and was ready to make hot love!
She cheated on you. Even though she wasn’t able to meet up with him, she still cheated on you by flirting and planing to meet up with him. Even though see claims they were just going to masturbate and watch porn, it’s still cheating.
Why did you stay with her? Chances are that she will cheat again, but will hide her infidelity better.
Is is possible to save your marriage? Yes, but you can’t feel numb anymore and you need to trust her again.
End the relationship. Also, they were definitely going to have sex. Don’t believe anything other than that.
She needs therapy if she isn’t getting it and then couples therapy if you wish to try to stay. No shame in calling it quits after being cheated on. You have every right to feel the way you do. I would say a period of separation might help to clarify things.
She cheated. Plain and simple. She had a full-blown emotional affair, and was ready for it to get physical. I mean c’mon… they were going to masturbate together while watching porn, and then she added a “*nothing more*”? Like that’s not already well beyond bad enough to add on top of everything else she’s already done?
Sorry OP, but your marriage is done, and I believe you know that deep down. You said it yourself, you can’t think of any valid reasons to be married to your cheating wife… and that’s because there are none. She showed you that she’ll happily make other men will her priority, and not only let them step in front of you, but help them to do so. She’s willing to cheat on you, hide things from you, and then gaslight you about it once she’s caught (adults don’t do all that sneaking around in secret just to meet up and touch themselves together, they do it so they can have sex).
Gather up any and all evidence you can, and then call a lawyer to get the divorce process started. You’ll never trust her again, and now that she’s shown she has no respect for you and your marriage, there’s no reason to stay with her. It won’t get better, she’ll just get better at hiding it from you in the future (and she *will* do all of this again with someone else… if not the same guy). So why make a marriage work when she clearly doesn’t care about it or you? There’s no reason to put yourself through hell for her, so bring the marriage to close, take some time to heal from her betrayal, and then find someone better to share your life with.
>she said they were only planning to watch porn and masturbate together
not even her believe in this bullshit excuse.
she would not go there to just “masturbate together”, and even IF she was telling the truth, she meeting with another man that’s not her husband to masturbate with him is more than enough to divorce, because this is obviously cheating.
you know what she was about to do, but she tried to minimize the damage she did.
if you can’t forgive her, if you can’t let this resentment(and maybe even disgust) go, then you better go separated ways.
now the damage is done and can’t be undone.
it’s your call, it’s your life and you know better what to do.
what will be your next step?
How is watching porn and masturbating together an acceptable answer??!! I literally spit out my chai latte reading that. Cut your losses, OP. Not that it’s going to be much of a loss.. you deserve better than this.
“when I confronted her after I learned about the sexting, she said they were only planning to watch porn and masturbate together, nothing more than that.”
Is that all?
“When my therapist asked why I was married in the first place, I cannot think of any valid reasons to tell her.”
That is everything.
“Is this the end of our marriage? am I just prolonging the inevitable?”
Yes and yes.
I believe you’ll find solace in standing up for yourself and being loyal to your better interests with the same passion that your wife has for the other man.
“We were just going to watch porn and masturbate with each other”
You know, like ALL best buds do. Nothing more!
If that’s the best she can do… jesus.
Yes, of course it’s the end. She’s a lying cheater and does not care for you or love you. The fact that she thinks you believe they were only going to “watch porn and masturbate” shows me that she has no respect for you whatsoever and finds you to be as gullible as a child.
Find a lawyer. Never confront anyone until you have your legal and financial ducks in a row.
Yeah. I’d say it ended a while ago.
Ex
As a female speaking……your wife is trash. She wanted to cheat on you and didn’t care if that would hurt u. You deserve a wife with a loyal heart.
Since you found out she’s sexting another man, makes you wonder if this isn’t the first time she’s done this…
Since you’ve caught her in the act, you should probably sit down with her and talk about it to see whether or not she’s done this before with someone else?
There’s usually a thought pattern of, I’ll continue to do this or that until I get caught…
Time to find your happiness.
If you’re on Reddit asking I’m going to go with yes. Move on
>I learned about the sexting, she said they were only planning to watch porn and masturbate together, nothing more than that.
Marriage ended right there my guy
That’s what you call a phone slot always needing phone after a while they’re going to start encrypting messages and everything girls like that are just liars
Just watch porn and masterbate?
Ffs. I sure hope you realize there isn’t a chance in hell that’s all they were going to do. Zero.
So, she’s gaslighting the hell out of you, cheating and minimizing her actions. What does this woman even bring to the table?
> When my therapist asked why I was married in the first place, I cannot think of any valid reasons to tell her.
Exactly man. It’s time to let her go. I hope you didn’t buy her excuse of them only masturbating together. Either way, it’s cheating and it’s inexcusable.
Please work on yourself and your self respect. You deserve to be happy, and it’s not going to be the last instance of your wife cheating. By letting her off the hook, it’s basically telling her you’re a doormat and it’s okay for her to treat you this way.
Take some time to mourn the loss of your marriage, enjoy your hobbies, meet with friends and family, and just keep moving forward. Eventually you’ll meet a new girl who loves you and would never consider cheating on you.
She left the marriage six months ago.
That is the best thing to happen to you. Use it as an opportunity.
Its time to lawyer up. It’s your duty to protect yourself, your mental health and your wealth.
Do not consume any alcohol or narcotics. Go to gym, go road running and make money.
You spelt ex wife wrong
Don’t waste anymore time on her, she’s not worth it.
Updateme!
After scouring this thread. I’ve realized something important. Anyone who forgives cheating deserves to be cheated on. This is coming from a guy who forgave his cheating partner multiple times in my late teens/early twenties.
Why? Cause if you are willing to toss your self worth away cause you are too weak to get over the person that tossed you aside like trash then you just deserve it until you learn to walk away. You don’t forgive cheating. Ever.
It would take immense action from your wife to restore trust and maybe to begin to see her like you used to. Her trying to “downplay” it was straight up terrible in itself. My guess is it’s over.