I’m a 13-year-old girl, I’m in middle school, and it seems all the boys hate me. I live in a town where the stereotype for boys is the same jacket, same hat, same hair, all of them play hockey, and they all clump into one big group. The stereotype for a girl is tall or at least above average, skinny, pretty, plays hockey, volleyball, and/or broom ball.
I fit into none of those categories (Except for the skinny one, I’m fairly average.)
All the boys insult me or make disgusted looks at me. A boy in my class has to sit beside me in Language, and as soon as I walked in he started fake gagging. I used to believe they were just like that to everyone, but no! I see them talking and having fun with all of the other girls in my class. I don’t know what I did/do to make them hate me so much, and I desperately want to fix.
I’m wondering if it’s because I’m too hyper, but another girl in my class is super hyper too, and the boys love her. The only boys that don’t hate me is my group of friends with about 5-6 guys and me being the only girl. But here’s the thing, all of those guys are the weirdos too. It’s like we’re a giant group of misfit’s, yet I’m the only one that gets the punishment for it. The rest of my group never gets laughed at or made fun of at all and I don’t know what to do.
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TL;DR : I don’t fir into the stereotype for my area, all the boys hate me, except for my group of friends (Males) who are also misfit’s.
Does anyone know what I’m doing wrong? Feel free to ask questions.
13 comments
You’re not doing anything wrong. Most kids around your age are just assholes, it’s a universal thing. They’ll learn empathy later. There’s not much you can do to make them like you more, Just stick with the people who do like you & ignore the mean boys as much as possible.
Usually, the person who experiences these types of things usually experience the greatest success. It’s okay to stand out and be different. People are afraid of what they don’t understand
It has nothing to do with you, kids are absolute assholes. I certainly was at that age and my peers and teachers even told me I was one of the most well mannered kids there. At that age people love to cause problems over the most insignificant things. Being different is often just who we are, but unfortunate in very cliquey places (like every single public school) it makes you a target. I know, I was one. Those boys are all obnoxious assholes and you should not care what they think. I know it is far easier said than done, but you have a good group of people to support you. Worry about the people who worry about you, and not about those who couldn’t care less. And as for the bullying (a lot of what you described is undeniably bullying) try and get something done about it.
TL;DR: you’re not doing anything, they’re just assholes
THESE BOYS ARE NOT WORTH IT.
they are young and dumb.
you are a girl who deserves the world.
you will find boys who care. you just have to grow up.
You got a whole lot of years ahead of you so don’t stress over these dumb boys
It’s the halo / horn effect. If you’re pretty this doesn’t really happen
You are not doing anything wrong. And you did nothing wrong! You are being yourself! Don’t focus so much on why someone doesn’t like you, focus on the ones that accept you for you! Don’t try so hard to fit with everyone else, be you. Be friends with the ones that want to be friends with you. Friends shouldn’t be your friends because of what you wear and what you look like. I know that’s easier said than done. As for the boy in your class that gags when you walk in, report it if you feel like you are being bullied or singled out! That’s not right and no one should feel uncomfortable coming to school to learn.
I’ve been teaching long enough that I can assure you that the problem is with them, and not you. I wish you could see your future self so that you could understand this. They’re a**holes.
Middle school is brutal for many many kids. Can you talk to your friends about what’s going on? Maybe they have some insight or can try to stick up for you more.
There’s always one designated target, regardless of a reason. As long as your personal hygiene is ok, then it’s just a bunch of stupid school kids.
When I was at school I saw the same thing happen, to the point where one girl left the school due to the bullying. Girls can start nasty rumours if they think a popular boy likes someone else and not them.
You seem very mature for your age. The way you have analyzed this situation and are looking for answers shows this. That is an amazing skill to have and shows that you have a bright future! The other kids your age probably see this as intimidating and they make fun because they are insecure about themselves. There is nothing you have to “fix” about yourself.
I would recommend talking to a trusted teacher or school counselor about it. That way, they have a record of this happening in case the inappropriate behavior gets worse and may be able to support you in other ways.
If you are comfortable and feel like you need to do something, you could call them out for it in the moment in a mature way. Like when the kid is fake gagging, ask him what he is doing and/or if he is okay in a curious (not mean) tone. That will make him seem like the weird one (because acting that way is weird) and he will likely stop doing it.
I don’t think I can drop the C bomb here but that’s what kids are.
Do your best to hold your head high and ignore the haters, you aren’t doing anything wrong.
The secret of bullying is that it can feel good when doing it, but bad afterwards (unless you have empathy problems but most people are not like that).
You have done nothing wrong or anything to deserve this treatment.
You’re not doing anything wrong. Boys that age don’t have the tools to process their feelings the way you do, they can’t put you into a stereotype so they don’t know how to act. They don’t hate you, and you can’t fix them. Their emotions are not developed enough to make sense of what they feel – I know, I used to be one of them.
Here’s a secret from someone a lot older – everything that you think makes you different now is what’s going to make you successful and happy in the future.
Keep being you, follow your own path, and the right people will find you at the same time you find them. And I swear, you won’t remember any of those idiot boys, and if you do, it’ll be with a laugh while your living your best life.