Long story short, I have an 9 year old and my husband has 8 year old. We both said we wouldn’t have a kid of our own because they are grown and we don’t want ro start over. He brings up sleeping together unprotected and it make me nervous and stresses me out (I cant take birth control). I brought it up and he gets angry saying sorry I want to sleep with my wife, you were going to have another kid with your ex and you won’t have a kid with me. Then will go and say I’m sorry I don’t make as much money as your ex etc..which plays no part in kids. Then I will say we agreed our life is good as is ..why are you mad. And again he will bring up my ex and say it pisses him off that I get nervous. Then I will get told.. how I can have a kid with my ex but with him is a no go. We argue a bit and each message he says he doesn’t want another child at all and hes content with what we have but it’s annoying the thought of a kid with me scares you. I’ll explain I’m not scared to have a another child with him, its that I’m scared to have another child in general because I don’t want any more now that the kids are older. Am I wrong? I’m just at a loss and don’t understand what to say anymore.
5 comments
Hmmm… does he want another kid or he is cranky about condoms?
It also seems like he might have some irrational jealousy regarding your ex. Does that seem possible?
Just tell him to get a vasectomy, it does not seem like this is a child issue. He can always get it undone if attitudes change in the future. Simple solutions for simple problems.
One of you needs to get snipped, then.
Add some marital counseling while you’re at it.
I wanna take a stab at your reasoning for being willing to have another baby with ex but not your husband: i suspect you never actually wanted to have another baby with your ex, and you just kinda agreed to it to calm him down. But now you’re with a man who doesn’t want another kid, so youre not under pressure to agree. My second theory is that you simply changed your mind sometime between breaking up with ex and meeting your husband. Neither theory points at you thinking hubby isn’t as good as your ex. Also, ex is an ex for a reason, and you chose hubs for a reason. All this is something a counselor could help you explain to hubby
He needs a vasectomy. And have you considered a tubal ligation or IUD?
I think you can also tell your husband, but I do have a second child. My stepchild. You each have a stepchild. That’s two kids.
The guy doesn’t want to wear a condom. It’s not complicated. Promise him great sex if he gets a vasectomy.