Me 24M, she 25F, 6 years together.
Hi all. I am not sure if I did something in the correct way and don’t know what I need to do next. I guess I need some advice from people that have had similar situations.
We have been together for about 6 years and live together. At the very beginning of September, I started noticing changes in the behaviour of my gf. She started spending more time with her co-workers but everything looked OK.
Then she started ignoring me and promising that we would talk some day about her behaviour, but later. All attempts when I tried to talk with her she was becomming agressive and didn’t want to talk about “changes” at all.
Sometimes she started spending nights with her best female friend (which is true) and didn’t warn me about it, only when she came home.
I was really sad and nervous and didn’t know what I should do if a person refused to talk for no reason.
I lost all my trust in her. I decided that if she cannot say anything, I would open her messenger on her laptop. I found out that she likes two people and cannot like…. Decide which one likes the most and in these chats she didn’t speak about me, like I am not a problem. They didn’t have sex or anything else, just her feelings for two people. I am happy that I finally know the reason, but the way I found it out, I don’t really like it.
What should I do now? Of course, I will tell her that it is over. Not sure that we will speak about details etc.
Should I go to another country alone for a week or so to refresh myself? It feels really shi**y that these people are much worse than me in many-many respects. I will certainly dive into work trying not to think about it all, but should I start looking for someone else? Or when? How to deal with it? Thank you all in advance.
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TL;DR: I found out that my gf likes other people and was ignoring me for almost 2 months. She was refusing to talk. What should I do to save my mental health? What did you do?
3 comments
Do whatever you need to do to heal as long as it’s healthy and legal.
And DO NOT start looking for someone else. You’ve been in a relationship since you were a teenager, you need to take a break and focus on yourself and your mental health.
Sounds like the relationship is over. That’s just life. I’d break up and move on. Find someone new.
She’s taking you for granted, she figures you’ll be there if things don’t work out with the other guy. That makes you plan B. One of you will have to move and if she’s moving out then make sure she takes everything that she owns with her. Don’t have her constantly calling over on some pretext or other. If your moving out then do likewise.
This is the best way to deal with your feelings, keep busy and don’t wait around for her. She’s a cheat plain and simple.