I literally can’t fake my energy , you can literally see it in me . I’ll be the most boring human ever sitting like a zombie . I’ll convince myself everyone hates me and be jealous pf everyone socialising. Where as some people can be the most bubbly humans whilst with people and still feel the same low energy as me
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Faking confidence and intrigue, I’ve done before. But it’s always under the pretext I genuinely wanted to get to know these people and have a great time with them. Not much of a fake is it. But it did feel like faking. Because I left every bit of my past behind. I lived in the moment. And I had an unforgettable time.
That’s the opposite of the mindset you want to have. And that’s why doing that tires a lot of people out. Because they’re not bringing their authentic selves and it feels like WORK!
I’m more of a “Give It Until You Live It” person. I’ll tell you the difference. The idea is that positive social energy needs to come from WITHIN in a genuine way. So instead of trying to conjure up that “in the moment” with people you don’t yet really care about, which even to me sounds daunting(!), you need to start much earlier and you need to start INSIDE yourself.
It’s difficult to conjure up a positive happy energy if you don’t feel that within yourself. However, I’ll tell you from experience that we have much more control over that than we think. Most of us have the habit of just chugging along in life, basically living on autopilot, and allowing our brains to wander where they will. When you think of how powerful and magnificent our brains really are, that’s almost a waste of a tremendous machine! The power of passion, enthusiasm and energy has literally created MOVEMENTS in our history. And not trying to make it sound crazy over the top, just giving an example of what our brains can DO when inspired by passion.
Just a TEASPOON of that can transform your social life! So you start at home by talking to yourself (mentally) in a more positive way. ALSO you start talking OUT LOUD in a more positive way. So this can be to a mirror, to your dog cat or goldfish, even to your houseplant. Start talking with a bit of exuberant enthusiasm. Get used to the sound of your own voice being a bit vibrant, energetic and passionate. Use your body to take up more space, reach to the ceiling in a gesture of triumph. Use more expansive gestures. Literally start TAKING UP MORE SPACE in your world, physically and mentally. When you begin to do this you’ll start feeling a mental/emotional uplift.
You have to train your heart/mind to have more passion for: yourself, other people and LIFE ITSELF. Life can be lived in a very boring and automatic way. And a LOT of people do that! Because it’s easier, and it’s habit-forming. Trying a new, more passionate way *sounds* like work, but again, speaking from experience, you’ll soon discover that it becomes FUN. It literally GIVES you more energy.
So practice this alone in your house, or in your car, or on your walk or run. Get really good at being your own cheerleader. Narrate some of your activities in a TV sports announcer voice. CHEER for yourself, and have fun at how ridiculous that seems to be. And watch your mind start to change. Develop this into a superpower.
Then bring it to your social life, and watch your LIFE start to change.
That’s where I’d begin.
Good luck!