my gf of 2 years left me for someone else and i feel defeated. how do i get over it? is it a good idea to keep in touch with her?

46 comments

  1. No, do not speak to or think about her ever again. It’s going to be difficult to move on from something like this but love is akin to a drug. If you interact with her again, you relapse.

    The best option is to work on yourself. Dive deep into work, working out, and hobbies.

  2. Drop her and start picking the weights up. Get you that mother fucking Greek God body dawg. Leave her ass in the past. One day she will realize what a shit choice she made. Keep your head up homie.

  4. Actions speak louder than words.

    She litterally just told you through her actions that nothing you gave her in these past 2 years compares to the prospect of being with some other guy. WHY would you want to stick around to that? Of course I understand your brain is having withdrawl symptoms right now, love is kind of like a drug and sudden removal of the substance will send you down Cold Turkey Lane and clouding your judgement.

    Have mercy on yourself and torture yourself through this as fast as possible. Get rid of it all: unfollow, delete contact number, pictures, nudes, videos, stories, clothes, things purchased as a symbol of ‘the two of you’. Take it all and treat it like a trusty pet that died. It wasn’t bad but it is time to let it go. Hold the memories dear but never let it burden your future.

    Move on.

  6. Do not stay in touch with her. I bet in a few months she will come crawling back, crying saying all this I love you baby shit. That’s when you look her in the eyes and laugh your ass off. Tell her you don’t want her damaged goods second hand ass.

  7. Do not get in the scarcity mindset, there are more ladies then men out there. I don’t know how old you are but men peek later and it last longer. Your best years may just be in your future.

  8. I had a “500 days of Summer” experience once, took me right to the edge, made a massive effort to move on and so glad I did. She’s the only ex I wouldn’t touch with a barge pole. God speed Good Samaritan.

  9. Move on mate. Women like attention and she’s done with you. She’ll like the fact you’re still clinging on whilst being happy with someone else. Be cold like you don’t give a shit and eventually you won’t.

  14. Break off all contact and fill your life with activities you enjoy. Join a weekly basketball game, sign up to dance classes, martial arts, cooking, pottery; anything to break your rutine. Meet new people. Also don’t stay at home sulking by yourself, that’s and easy way to spyral into a depression.

  15. Break contact immediately. Truth me you’re just gonna witness a bunch of stuff that’s gonna keep breaking your heart. You really will just be shoving a knife in your own chest at this point. I know it seems “mean” but you need to heal and now that she’s not your girlfriend her feelings are not your responsibility. Let new dude deal with it.

  17. Rip off the band-aid. Delete/throw out everything that has to do with her (contact info, clothes, gifts, etc).

    Don’t even consider getting back together with her because she’s not worthy of your trust (she WILL hurt you again). Just pretend she died and mourn the loss but don’t trick yourself into thinking it’ll ever be the same

  18. Time and distance will help you get over it. Dive into some hobbies, distract yourself. I hear the new MW2 is good.

    It is NOT a good idea to stay in touch. She doesnt deserve your time or attention. Move on.

  19. It’s a cliche’ on Reddit, but the advice works:

    *Delete Facebook*: unfriend, unfollow, and block on all social media platforms. Block her emails, or at least filter them to a folder you don’t see. Delete her phone number from your phone. Delete all pictures and videos (yes, even those), and clean out your place of her stuff and ‘us’ stuff. You can’t start getting over her until she’s completely gone.

    *Hit the gym:* start exercising. Any kind of exercise, as long as you can do it three times a week or more. Cardio is best, working on your core is next-best, and after that do whatever. You’ll fall asleep faster (no sitting up awake brooding), you’ll wake up feeling better, and you’ll feel more comfortable in your skin overall.

    *Lawyer up:* OK, not so much this one, but get your shit together. Figure out what mutual friends you want to try and keep, and which ones you can fade away. Friends who tell you how she is doing are not friends you want to hang out with. If friends tell her what you’re up to and then she calls you about it, those are also friends to warn once, and then cut out entirely.

    Set aside time to grieve. Pick a time, once a week, where you can clear an hour. Make a playlist of sad songs. Watch sad movies. Feel sad, feel defeated, feel your feelings. Cry and get all snotty if that’s where you’re at. If you feel upset any other time, sure, bottle it up and ignore it, but then when that block of time comes up, let it out and feel it. Do this for an hour or two each week, at the same time that you’ve scheduled for, *as long as you need to*.

    Finally, buy a new outfit. Nice shirt, nice jacket, nice pants. If you have no style, get a friend who does have style to help you pick one out. If you know you’re going to see your ex, or even if you think you’re going to run into her, *wear the new outfit*.

  20. No, you don’t keep in touch. She’s now a part of your past, and that’s where you need to leave her. Don’t follow her social media, and don’t text or call.

  21. Realize that she’s probably a whore and not worth it. If she is monkeybranching this easily she was probably cheating on your during the relationship.

  22. Have some self respect. Don’t try to get back someone who doesn’t want you. No contact is ideal. If you bump into her in real life, exchange pleasantries for a moment but don’t linger. Your goal now is to heal and you can’t heal if the source of the wound hasn’t been removed

  23. The first month will suck very much. The second month will suck less. The third month will suck even less. After that, you should barely remember her in your thoughts.

    Don’t talk to her, disconnect from her in every social network, focus on your work and health. Go out and talk to people, try some new team sports.

  24. Keep in touch for her, why? Fuck her man. She ruined her trust with u, forget her. She’s not worth a second of your time.

  25. I was led on by an ex for way longer than I should have allowed because we decided to keep in touch. One drunk night I simply blocked her number, deleted it, and a week later felt much better. 100% agree with the others here, cut it off completely.

  26. Get yourself busy man. If you have a hobby or a special interest, immerse yourself in it.

    So busy that you don’t have time to obsess over her. Or even to see her if the chance came up. She’s not your business anymore. That’s history.

    You’ll be surprised how quickly you can get over this when you’re just too busy. And you’ll be surprised how attractive you become to other women when you’re focused, and occupied.

    This is one of those cheat codes that set the game of life on easy mode.

  27. No don’t ever talk to her again. Fuck her and try to do the same to her best friend 🙂

  28. Don’t keep contact. Block her number, and block all social media accounts. Take time to mourn the loss, but cut contact so she doesn’t get any satisfaction of closure.

  32. Don’t keep in touch with her. Fuck that! I’ve been you- I kept in touch- stupid and pathetic. If I could have my time again I’d go completely non contact

  35. Become a monster. Read books and workout. You will forget about her entirely .
    Besides now you get to do what you wanted to do

  36. Nope. No contact. And it’s not about “No contact” to prove a point to her. Lots of guys make that mistake. “No contact” to depict that they don’t need her, but when she comes back to them, they gladly accept her with the notion – “Aha …. she learned her lesson”.

    Nope. No contact with her, for rest of your life. Do that for yourself. If you keep in touch with her, you will just be a beta orbiting around her as a backup.

    It wasn’t all that great of a relationship if it lasted only 2 years. Think about it. If she left you for another guy, that other guy didn’t magically appear yesterday. She was in touch with the other guy for maybe 3-4 months. If she was in touch with the guy and felt attracted to him when she first met him, it means she was already over you around that time. She probably felt this relationship isn’t for her few months before she met the other guy.

    So probably 6 months ago or so, she had lost faith and interest in the relationship.

    You had good year and a half. That’s puppy love.

    “I feel defeated” – yes sir. It’s one of the biggest letdown in self confidence.

    “How do I get over it?” – start dating others casually. No need to get into another relationship. I am ok with few months of frivolous weekends, just don’t overdo it. This is where company of male friends help – go to gym with them, do activities with them (fishing, shooting, etc etc). And absolutely no contact with her. Eventually with time and a new relation, you get over it.

  37. This happens all the time. Not your fault. She was probably going for that new exciting feeling and has no idea what she gave up.

    Now you are free to find someone better for you. Enjoy.

  39. Ghost that bitch. If you’re not good enough for her now….she will be damaged goods on the rebound. She is dead to you. This is the way.

  40. Don’t speak to her even if she reaches out to you. Easier said than done but cold turkey is the best way. Time and distance heals most things.

  42. What if….this was the motivational trigger event to improve yourself in every possible way to get her to come back to you! And then gost her after the first “reunion” date? I would do that…just saying what if….

  43. You just move on. There’s nothing to get over – she is not your “gf of 2 years” anymore, she is not “your” anything. She is “a girl I used to date”.

  44. it may not feel like this now, but the pain will really pass. you will emerge as a renewed and reborn person with wisdom when it comes to relationships and life in general

  45. you can get over it by spending time with your closest friends and learning new things like painting, playing a musical instrument, and watching movies among others.

  46. it is never a good idea to keep in touch with your ex especially if the cause of breakup wasn’t valid or acceptable at all.

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