My partner (18M) and I (18F) have been arguing. He’s upset that I told him that I would do something, and I didn’t. I genuinely don’t remember telling him that I would do it, and there was logically no possible way that I would’ve been able to. I was way too busy at the time, so I don’t know why I would’ve told him any differently. I DO remember being clear that I was busy and couldn’t do it at the time, so I’m just stuck.
He told me that I wouldn’t know what I said if I don’t remember what happened, but I DO remember what happened. I just don’t remember saying THAT. I don’t like the idea of apologizing for something that I didn’t say.
What should I do? He’s saying explicitly that I lied to him, and I don’t think that I did, but I also can’t be sure, and I doubt that he’s just making things up.
TL;DR: should I apologize for something that I’m being accused of, but that I don’t remember doing?
*I am not on any sort of medication or drugs, and I don’t drink. I have no memory loss. I did take a power nap right after the interaction that he’s talking about. Maybe that could contribute to any lost memory.
5 comments
What he’s doing is called gaslighting
If it’s intentional on his part, it’s gaslighting – trying to convince you something happened that didn’t. If it’s unintentional and he truly believes something happened that didn’t, I have to wonder if he’s even listening to your answer when he asks for things. Of course, what the “something” is could make a difference here too.
You being gaslighted.nget out while you can
>What should I do?
End this and figure out why you think you should tolerate being treated this way.
Speak your truth and let it be
And everything the others are saying