Me (25 F) and my bf (25 M) have been together for two years. He’s supportive, loving, and patient. There’s this girl who happens to be my coworker and hangs at his place (she hangs with his roommates who are her friends).
Me and her are quite similar. We love scifi movies (she called us “scifi girls”). Me and my bf bonded over Scifi movies when we first met. We love watching scifi together. We all have similar humor.
I just met her a couple of months ago since new school semester and job started. He said they had a Film class together but I don’t know if it was before him and I met. I keep feeling like there was something between them and there still is.
He acts weird and quiet around her (I mean, he’s quiet around basically everyone except me). She is nice to me and compliments me. We bond but it seems kinda sketchy. I’m not sure if it’s just all in my head. She would go up to him asking if he’s heard about the remake of a certain scifi movie, so I’m guessing they’ve talked before..
During a movie night, I swear I thought I saw him staring at her in awe and they making certain eye contact. They would make jokes and banter. He would laugh a lot. I thought I saw him staring at her and saying a joke to impress her. They have a lot in common and are very intelligent. I think I’m pretty dumb. The way they were talking to each other seemed like they would be perfect for each other.
He doesn’t really hang with her or his roommates generally. He prefers my presence. When we are in his room, he gets all anxious whenever he hears her voice (she’s loud which is fine with me personally) but he’s said before that he gets nervous around hearing loud talking in kitchen because it reminds him of his parents fighting a lot growing up.
Whenever during these moments, I would ask if he was okay, he would say with a smile that he’s fine but his body language says otherwise (at least to me). He would just seem anxious and I kept associating that with him hiding something like regarding his feelings for her.
Generally, he doesn’t ever talk about her. When I was questioning if he had a crush on her (I said it as if it was fine and that I was rooting for them lol). He would continuously shake his head “No” while holding me. He explained that he loves me and only me and no one else. He said he isn’t interested in her, that she talks a lot so of course he talked to her during the movie and that they didn’t even talk back in Film class.
Regarding body language, he made direct eye contact with me throughout.
I just don’t believe it?? I’m so confused.
Should I dump him?
tl;dr: I am not sure if my bf likes another girl or not. I feel like he’s hiding something from me but he says he isn’t and that he loves me. I can’t tell the difference between my insecurities and intuition at all.
2 comments
I think being honest with him about this would be the best thing for saving your relationship, if it can be saved.
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Tell him that what your wrote here, and see how he responds.
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But tbh I don’t think he is cheating based on what you wrote so far.
I’m as confused as you are. First you say he is “weird and quiet” around her, and then you say he’s telling jokes just to impress her. And then he gets anxious just hearing her voice?
Normally I’d recommend someone should trust their insticts but these are pretty contradictory IMO.
I think you should just talk to him about how you’re feeling, but it also sounds like you did that at least once already. If you continue accusing him when he’s doing nothing wrong and your only reasons for suspicion are the whiplashy ones you said above, he will feel like you don’t trust him (which you don’t seem to) and you’ll just push him away.