Gf is anxious about masturbating

3 comments

1. One doesn’t have to have an obvious trauma, or any trauma at all, to feel uncomfortable with masturbation. Just throwing out ‘pretty insecure person’ doesn’t mean much either.

   If your partner wants to figure things out, she can go to therapy to help sort out her thoughts.

2. She may not have any “traumas” but even how she was brought up can effect that. I was brought up in a religious environment half the time and even that amount of time made me feel like it was gross. Nobody ever told me any different. Nobody told me you were supposed to enjoy it. I’m 30 and it still effects me.

3. First she needs to eliminate negative words like gross and disgust. They are words that trigger incredibly strong disgust reflexes, just like treading in dog poo. Society or peers can directly or indirectly cause reflexes to certain things like masturbating. She should eliminate those words about sex. She should then read a lot about being sex positive. She should then read about why masturbating is perfectly normal, healthy and also a very good part in relationships. After all that if she wants to try it, its probably best trying it in private. If you want to show her how you masturbate, thats ok, but wait until she does some reading and thinking. She needs to be positively encouraged to work through creating a new belief system about what she wants in her sex life and to throw out any shame, myths and rubbish from our upbringings.