Hi Men of Reddit,
Long story short, my husband is currently in the process of getting his Permit to stay in my country so right now he is more a drifter.
Is there a way your partner makes you feel uncomfortable in your own home? And anything they could change to make you more at home?
We pick all the furniture and decorations together but I do think I have a bigger say sometimes cause he doesn’t care too much if the wall is light green or dark green.
So yeah any Tipps would be awesome! Thanks in advance!
10 comments
Just don’t impose things you like on him.
I mean don’t get me wrong, you should not stop doing what you like, just make sure he is not doing _only_ the things you like or doing them out of force.
I don’t know if it makes sense but thats what i felt missed for me when I was dating. She kind of made me do things she liked(not in a bad way, but it happened) a little too much.
As a man. He doesn’t care. As long as he has a roof, food, and sex he’s happy you’re over thinking it.
Make sure half the closet space is empty and waiting and half the storage space in the ensuite is empty and waiting. Then slowly reclaim most of that space over the years – but start 50/50 😂
Really, it will take time for him to work out how he likes things, so don’t stress too much.
If he says he doesn’t care about the walls being light or dark he means it. Most men don’t care about the wall colours as long as they are not worst looking.
It’s nice to have a space that’s just my own, which could range from converting a spare room into a home office or just a corner of the living room to put my PC or have a reading nook.
Listen to him non judgementally (even if you think what he wants is stupid) and don’t just impose your ideas or try and manipulate him to say what you want.
He’s probably not going to care about every tiny detail but you should still respect his opinon.
I mean I couldn’t care less what shade of green the walls are. It just wouldn’t interest me enogh to care but I still want my partner to respect my opinion,
Nice framed pieces of art / posters / photography
Scented candles (quality ones)
Scented sticks (quality ones)
One or two low maintenance house plants
Sleek, unintrusive hi fi equipment
Some antiques here and there (like a bust, some ceramics, table lamps, umbrella holders, etc)
Always have two full vases filled with seasonal flowers
Warm lighting
A rug
What country?
Tons of Arnold posters
It’s cute that you care about this kind of stuff.
Personally, all I’d need is a desk with file cabinet drawer, mail sorter, and a big screen PC.
My suggestion is to find out if he cares more about utility/efficiency or aesthetics, and go from there