So I’ve been talking to this guy on Bumble and he was pretty decent to talk to and he seemed really interested. He would reply fast and I appreciated that. However I have this thing where I sometimes get bored exchanging messages and would sometimes not reply to someone or tell them if I don’t feel like it. So I told him that and assured him that obviously I wasn’t going to do that to him since we had great conversations over the past few days. I told him for the sake of just having a discussion around it because I thought we were on that level and we had that rapport already. Obviously he didn’t see feel the same because I haven’t heard from him since and I’m pretty bummed about it. I also think I have made it clear that I was interested in him and even said yes when he asked if I would go on a date with him.
What should I do? I’ve thought about sending him a message but my last one was pretty long and enthusiastic and I don’t want to come off as desparate. Thanks in advance!
5 comments
That’s why I stopped talking to guys and sharing certain things guys are always leaving me so I stopped opening up to them
You told him you might ghost him on a whim. So he protected himself by not involving himself with you.
You also told him you treat your matches poorly by ghosting them and not respecting their feelings. So he protected himself by not involving himself with that kind of toxic behaviour.
I advise you think about what impact your behaviour has on others or on what your speech implies, and leave this man alone.
I think it’s important not to play the games of worrying about coming off as desperate, it suits people better to pursue what they want and not try to portray something other than that.
That being said, if you both were having great conversations, it’s strange that he would dip after what may be a perceived offense. I would suggest maybe sending something short like “are you still there?” to reengage. If he responds, then it might be a good time to ask what happened. If not, it sucks but you may have saved yourself being drawn deeper into a relationship with someone you’re not comparable with.
A last thought; if he got upset about what you said, this could be a glimpse into a macro issue with him. Perhaps through more discussion with him you can decide how big of an issue that may be for you having to worry about how someone with perceive you sharing yourself.
I agree with other commenters that you low-key told him that you ghost people, so it’s understandable that he stopped talking to you so he wouldn’t get hurt. Imo, what you mentioned falls under the “not important to know” category, so you don’t need to tell your date about this. I would work on your habit, and get better at ending conversations when you’re done/bored with them. Saying something like “I have to go now, let’s talk later” works just use it at an appropriate time in the conversation.
Bo one is the one. Move on