I’m on a verge of heart attack already. My hands are shaking while I’m typing this , so please forgive any grammar mistakes. My husband (37) and me (35) went on a shopping today. He noticed a very young girl at Zara store , she was about 12 years old and started starring at her and commenting how provocative her outfit is ( she was wearing shorts that were too short in his opinion ) This whole situation was disgusting! I asked him to stop immediately , but he couldn’t! He continued by saying “what a shame , where are her parents looking at and ect.” ( this girl was accompanied by parents)
I’d like to add that this is not a first time situation. He does this very often, at least once a week or so he will say how he doesn’t like when women wear provocative clothing, leggings where you can see the “camel toe” ( I’m very sorry for the details , I just want to be very accurate in describing this situation)
I told him 100 times that I will not tolerate a behavior like this, that he looks weird, this is weird, normal people do not behave like that!
He constantly stare at women, when I tell him to stop he will say “I’m a man, it’s natural for men, everyone does it! And look, she is wearing a mini skirt, she wants to be look at!” And he starts criticizing this women’s outfit.
I just can’t take it anymore! I feel embarrassed, angry , I just want to cry all day.
We have a 2 year old daughter, he always says that he would never let her wear short skirts or shirts. To me this is too much of a concern as to who wear what . Please tell me your opinion and advice. He calls me crazy and says that I’m out of my mind .
35 comments
>I told him 100 times that I will not tolerate a behavior like this, that he looks weird, this is weird, normal people do not behave like that!
If you’ve told him this 100 times and you are still with him, then actually, you are tolerating behavior like that. This guy is a creep who sexualizes children. Why are you tolerating it?
He’s creepy af. That kind of policing of women’s bodies typically comes from men that are creepy af.
You’ve told him 100 times. Stop telling him and do something! His behavior is not okay. And the fact that you have a daughter is concerning.
No. Just no. That’s creepy. I’m 39M, this is not normal behavior. Everyone does NOT do it.
He a not a good one. Have some self respect and leave. For the best
He sounds incredibly creepy in fact if you don’t like what somebody is wearing I would think you would do the opposite of leering right ? You would not be looking at them.
He sounds like he’s deflecting his behavior cause he knows it’s not right but is trying to justify it.
*>>I told him 100 times*
Words mean nothing to creeps like this, only actual CONSEQUENCES will change his behavior (and probably not even that).
You need to start thinking about how far are you willing to go to protect your child.
Oh no, your husband sounds like a creep.
Ew. I’d start walking off whenever he does this. That’s disgusting.
That sounds like a massive red flag OP. What he is doing is not normal at all
You told him 100 times. It seems like you are tolerating it. My father is a pedophile and made similar comments. I would rather be over protective than sorry.
He sounds like a predator.
You’ve told him 100 times which means you absolutely DO tolerate this behavior.
That is scary. Creepy. And just … gross. A young girl should never be blamed for a man’s bad behavior, no woman ever should. It is men like this why woman aren’t safe, why we get in trouble for wearing clothing that is just according to the weather.
I wouldn’t want your husband around any woman if he is going to behave like that.
If he truly is as creepy as he sounds my guess would be that he has some illegal internet searches or stash of pictures somewhere. Shot in the dark but I would start looking through his stuff. Maybe you’ll find something that will get you the custody you need
Have you snooped in his phone? You might want to check his family? Start looking around for any evidence.
He’s Creepy.
It’s Not natural for a man to stare at 12 year old girl.
He needs help. That is absolutely not normal. Why are you still with him? Please find a way to get away from him.
He sees your daughter just as much of sexual object as these other little girls. Who knows how he’ll violate her? Maybe not physically, although she won’t be old enough to know better let alone tell you what daddy is doing if he did, but mentally. She’ll grow up believing all she is good for is a few set of holes for men. Because that’s what daddy believes about women and thus, her.
No, it is not normal in the least bit for men to look at a 12 year old girl and think she is “provocative” regardless of what she’s wearing. This is just what pedophiles think.
I would leave my husband the second he displayed behavior, especially if I had a daughter.
I hate so much the excuse “I’m a man it’s natural for men.” It just really shows how much society has been conditioned to allow men to have poor behavior because “they’re men” and it’s never been challenged. What a lame excuse to be a cruddy human being.
Please keep your daughter safe my mom didn’t me and I am still paying for it😥😥
He is misogynist and he probably has another life online which you don’t know about.
Let’s just be honest he sounds like a pedophile. You need to leave
“I told him 100 times that I will not tolerate a behavior like this, that he looks weird, this is weird, normal people do not behave like that!”
Honey, if you tell him 100 times, then you are tolerating it.
Need therapy for sexual deviancy, he is a pervert. There is not other way to put it.
When he comments on a child’s clothing about it being “provocative” what you need to say is “you sound like a pedophile. And honestly, I just can’t be with a pedophile and I can’t allow my daughter to grow up with someone like that.”
And then you leave. You leave a man who sexualizes literal children.
Maybe next time you notice him ogling a little girl you take out your camera and start recording him, and get his response to you telling him to stop staring at little girls. You might need that to use in court when you try to get full custody. And then make sure your daughter is raised to know that “you need to always tell me if anything happens that makes you uncomfortable. if anyone, including your father, tells you that you need to keep it between the two of you or threatens you you *must* tell me. if they tell you to keep a secret it’s because they know they are doing something bad.”
“I’m a man, it’s natural for men, everyone does it”No, no it’s not. While I don’t know every man on the planet, of the hundreds I do know personally, only like one have I ever heard or say/act anyway like this, and not to this level. Yuck. I have never seen my husband stare at a woman, and he has never commented on someone else’s appearance like that. He literally doesn’t care what other people wear as it has no effect on him and his life at all. Your husband is very narcissistic in this regard.
“She wants to be looked at” really? How does he know this? I admit I was self absorbed as a teen and was influenced by what my friends (girls) wore, so I would dress like them, but never since my mid/late twenties have I ever given af what anyone thinks about what I wear. Definitely never dressed to impress a guy. My first date with my hubby, I wore jeans and a T-shirt.
I wear what I like/feel comfortable in. I’d explain to your husband that the women he’s looking at do not want to be looked at-and this is coming from a woman who wears shorts, mini skirts and low cut/revealing clothing. I (and the women he’s staring at-most of them anyway) think he’s being creepy. No one is dressing to impress him. That’s weird. I have never looked at a hot guy and thought, wow, he wants me to stare at him. I see him, have the passing thought I find him attractive, and move on with my life. I am not self centered enough to think he’s looking that way to get my attention, nor am I controlling enough to make comments about the tight jeans he’s wearing being “inappropriate”.
In short, well adjusted people don’t feel that their options matter this much. Your husband has issues. I feel badly for any potential daughters you may have. He’s going to treat them like he owns their bodies, just like he’s treating these women. That he has the right to look at them, and can judge what they wear. He’s not a good person, sorry.
Your concerns are valid 🙁
My father, whom I hate having to call him that, did the same things in his marriage to my mom. Little did my mom know, he was sexually abusing me behind the scenes. I’m just saying, it’s an indicator for some scary shit. He is in jail now, but still. This is exactly the stuff he would do.
Please talk to a lawyer if you can away from him. I see you could have custody problems and that’s extremely dangerous for your daughter.
I am truly so sorry you’re going through this, your husband sounds like a freak.
“I told him a 100 times I will not tolerate….” But you are tolerating it.
He’s not just staring at women but CHILDREN. This isn’t a questionably legal adult but an obvious CHILD. Not even a minor but a KID. Ma’am you know what he is and are choosing to remain blind to it for whatever reason. Your husband is very ill. Either he needs extreme help today, you tolerate his sickness, or you leave. There is no grey area here. You have told him to stop and for whatever reason he won’t. This is who he is. You know it. You won’t leave your daughter alone with him. If you can record him saying these things (if your state is a one party consent state) do so. Check his computer. If you aren’t computer savvy bring it to someone who is and ask them to go through it while he’s working.
I’m sorry that this is your reality. I know you want to protect your daughter and I hope you can. Gather as much evidence as possible. Texts with you two talking about what he said and admitting it would work great. “How could you sexualize that 12 year old girl at the mall?” “Look at what she was wearing!” That would go very far. But the more the better. If it is ever more unsafe than it is now just run.
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Creepy fucking dude. It’s only going to get worse the older he gets.
I was at my kids high school this week and one of my daughters friends fathers (freshman girls) said he was not happy with the way the female students were dressed as they walked by us. I opened my mouth to say something and my husband grabbed my hand and said to him, “Then turn your head bc it’s none of your business.” When we got in our car to leave my husband said our daughter is never allowed at their house because he’s a predator.
I do not understand men who look at young girls and comment on their bodies. I don’t even know how to respond to your post because I am disgusted with your partner just as you are. I hope you get some good advice here.
You’re not crazy and it’s not natural for any men to do this. My advice is keep an eye on your daughter and do not let him alone with her ever.