Recently me 17(f) and my boyfriend 17(m) have been having some issues in our relationship. We’ve been together 6 months and nothing like this has ever happened. It’s been hard these past few weeks for both of us. We’ve been more distant than before and less connected and the frequency of texting and calling is getting worse. Last night we had a deep conversation where he said i needed to respect his boundaries of more personal space and more alone time. This has been a struggle for me since I require lots of quality time and physical contact to feel loved. He also said sometimes it feels like a chore to text me back or to call me at night and that he feels pressured to do it. I’m trying to be less needy and relaying on him for constant time and effort. Through this I’ve been researching what exactly is causing this internally. I’ve discovered that I may have an anxious attachment style and how it effects relationships like it is to mine. I really want to make this relationship work I love him so much. He’s taking a break today just to gather his thoughts but we want to work on this together. I was wondering if anyone had any advice on fixing my anxious attachment style to a secure one to better my relationship. Any advice is welcome please
Thank you guys!
Tldr: I have an anxious attachment style that makes me needy and have difficulty setting and sticking to boundaries and it’s effecting my relationship how do I make it a secure attachment style?
1 comment
>I was wondering if anyone had any advice on fixing my anxious attachment style to a secure one to better my relationship.
Therapy. You could try the self directed route by exploring the resources available online. Thais Gibson has an extensive collection of videos on the topic on her youtube channel. Alan Robarge also has on his channel. They both also offer paid course options.
Other things to consider: the pursuer-distancer dynamic and abandonment trauma.