So I really like super quick fast relationships like I always speed run friendships but I really like him and I want to build a strong foundation first.
We’ve been dating for about a week which shows exactly how fast I like to move lol. Last night I was really tired and I made some very flirty advances, and he was like “hey you’re sending me mixed signals because you said you wanted to go slow.”
So advice on how to hold myself back and like let the relationship move at its own pace?
TL;DR: I’ve never been in a long relationship and I’m trying to take it slow with this guy but I don’t know how.
2 comments
Make sure you are still investing time and energy into your other friendships and stuff. Sometimes it’s easy to go all-in on a new romantic interest and let those things slip, but if you keep up the rest of your relationships it can help things slow down.
I’d also do some reflecting about why you want to go slow. If you are clear about your reasons for it, it might help you stick to the pace you want. If the idea is to build a strong foundation first, what does that look like to you?
I think it’d help if you talked to your BF about it and got on the same page with him regarding what “taking it slow” means to both of you, and then coming to an agreement because “going slow” can mean anything. I had a friend who thought going slow meant sex on the second or third date, but to me it means treating your partner like a more intimate friend while you naturally let the relationship progress to something more if it heads in that direction, so hand holding, light kisses, light touching, etc. There’s no sense in playing guessing games and toning down your behavior if you both aren’t on the same page.