I know some men just talk to women to get laid with no interest in her at all. But how do we know their intentions?
There’s a guy I’ve known for 7 months from the gym. We are only friends. Sometimes he calls me to ask me if I want to workout with him. He hugs me every time he sees me with him. He talks about “going out to eat” together but doesn’t really do it.
He hasn’t given me any hints that point out he likes me but he also doesn’t give me a feeling he’s just trying to get laid. I feel like he’s genuinely friendly. I’ve met guys where right off the bat they try to kiss me or touch my thigh…pretty much test the waters. It’s clear they just want to get laid.
But this guy is different but some of my friends are telling me he just wants to get laid and is just playing the nice guy. FYI; they don’t know him so idk why they’re making these assumptions. I’m assuming if this is all he wanted (to get laid) he would have 1. Tried something (invite me to his house) or 2. Just stop asking me to workout with him and stop talking to me
27 comments
I think I act the same
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> I know some men just talk to women to get laid with no interest in her at all.
Im always open to being pleasantly surprised. Thats usually not what happens though
Also forget the compatibility; theres just too much hassle. Dating someone has turned into this whole ‘production’ that I dont have time for
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> But this guy is different but some of my friends are telling me he just wants to get laid and is just playing the nice guy.
jealous bitches lmao
I always want a relationship, but everyone only wants me for casual stuff, so I guess I act the same either way 🤷
Your friends don’t know him so you don’t know why they make assumptions, so you come to Reddit?
You will probably never know until you go out with him. I can not speak much for one night stands, but when I am genuinely interested, I follow up on asking someone out. When I tell them we should go grab something to eat together and they are receptive, I just plain come up with time and place. I don’t do games and keep them wondering.
Well I doubt the dude would keep in touch and want to hang for seven months if he just wanted to have sex.
Don’t lose your chance with a good man
Ok so if I just wanna get laid than I’ll usually make my intentions clear from the get go because I don’t like to dance around things. And if I really like a girl and I’m thinking about taking things to the next level than I take an interest in her and I usually go out of my way to do things for her. And with everything that you’re saying about this guy it’s really hard to tell because he’s kinda showing that he does like you as more than just a friend, but of course the only way you’re going to find out is by asking him.
Men looking for relationships will take interest in things that you like and men will share their interest with you. If a man wants to say for instance game with you that means he wants a relationship
I don’t think that most men act differently when they pursue sex vs a relationship. Is more a tell of where the man is in his life/ how mature or confident he is. We are the gender that gets told to hide their emotions from a very young age after all. No wonder this is side of us is generally not very developed.
When looking back at my teenage years I’m 99% sure that the girl I liked because I had a genuine connection with her thought that I just wanted something physical and with some girls who I just found hot I had great friendships with because I never communicated that sibe but my attention Was on her so we clicked.
My point is that there is no general way we behave when we pursue a certain thing. The guy from your gym could be that way jecause he genuinly likes you, but is just shy or he could like you, but had some negative expieriences in expressing his emotions in the past. He could also just want sex and he is repressing that side.
The exact same because if we haven’t dated for a while and also haven’t had sex yet, how would I know if I want a relationship with you?
Their nose usually turns bright red, you can’t miss it.
I honestly don’t think he just wants to get laid because, as you yourself noticed, if that was the case he would have taken a shot long ago.
Given his behavior, I would say that it’s a lot more likely that he’s either not really interested in you; or he is but is too shy and/or clueless to clearly communicate it. (So far we can only guess what is the case: if he’s around 30 and gregarious, odds are it’s the former; if he’s around 20 and more of an introvert, it’s entirely possible that it’s the latter. Source: Was a 20 year old introvert once and behaved similarly.)
Now of course it is possible that he isn’t really interested in you and thus won’t be proactively pursuing you; but wouldn’t say no to sex if you try to hit on him; but other than that I don’t see that getting in your pants is the highest priority for him.
I make absolutely no difference. To me, a relationship is just a potential “escalation” from having casual sex with someone, then either catching feelings or not. Or, to put it in other words: I treat every woman with the same amount of respect that should be reserved for someone you potentially stay years with. If it turns out to be for one night only after all – what have I lost? Nothing.
There’s a way to find out and it isn’t on here.
I haven’t seen this question asked at all so I’m going to put my foot in it…
Is he interested in *any* women? Is he interested in anyone at all? There are plenty of people around who are pan or asexual, and unless they specifically told you, you’d be hard pressed to know.
From what you said I get the feeling that he is genuinely interested in being a friend, and maybe having someone being genuine has thrown you, as so few people are 100% genuine these days.
If you don’t have any romantic interests, I say don’t rock the boat. You found someone who enjoys your company without ulterior motives, soak it up!
98% chance he is being your freind. 2% chance this is some super long game.
Is he waiting until he marries you before teh sexing?
No?
Then he just wants to get laid.
How are we honestly supposed to win with y’all? If we make our intentions clear right away, it’s seen as just wanting sex. If we are nice and respectful and try to get to know you for a while it’s seen as “playing the nice guy”. If we are actually just trying to be friends (nothing more) it’s seen as “playing the nice guy”. What are we actually supposed to do to express romantic (or platonic) interest in a woman that won’t have you accusing him of just wanting sex? Think on THAT for a second and then compare that to this guy’s behavior. Are you treating him fairly?
He is probably interested and also wants to get laid…because those things are inclusive.
It sounds like you have not given him any feedback that you are interested or not, so he is not sure himself. If he is on the shyer side we will continue to be timid about it until you give him an inkling of direction one way or the other.
Pretty much all guys want to get laid, but this does not mean they do not want a relationship. Aside from a handful of pigs, and an even smaller handful of actual womanizers, if a guy sleeps with a girl that means he likes her and will most likely want to continue hanging out and sleeping with each other.
The whole “he just wants to sleep with me, not date me” is a bit of an urban legend (outside the small groups listed above who aren’t worth your time anyway). Because aside from those two small, shitty groups, most guys are not going to “ghost” a girl once they have slept together…they are going to want to continue seeing her so they can continue liking each other, and yes, continue sleeping together.
Well, the easy way to figure that out is when/if he ever texts you to hang out after 8pm then you know his intentions. Otherwise he seems fairly genuine, and if he’s still keeping it casual after 7 months that’s a good sign he may actually like you.
Is it possible that he’s gay?
Hmm. Usually how much attention I give them if you’re looking for something subtle. I make my intentions clear though.
Whether or not he wants to sleep with you is an unknown…but he probably wouldn’t say no.
The fact is that he’s giving you time and you’re enjoying one another’s company. It doesn’t need to be more than a gym partner unless you want him to be
The part that seems most weird here is that you haven’t said what your intentions are? What is that you want from this guy? Have you told *him* what you want out of this relationship?
We men aren’t mind readers and without a clear indication of what it is you want some of us will play it really slow. So slow you might not even know we are into you.
There’s nothing worse then ruining a friendship with an unwanted advance and end up with egg on our face.
Crazy idea, maybe you could make the first move.
Guys get rejected a lot, sometimes you just kind of check out. Especially if you like being around a particular girl.
“I like this girl a lot, but if I make a move I’ll probably get rejected, then it’ll be impossible to comfortably hang out or spend time with her”.
Honey, all men want to get laid. Some do it by being direct about it, some play the being friends first tactic and some get some nervous about wanting you that you perceive them as creepy.
And that urge to f*ck in men is so strong, men literally do anything for it. Even blowing themselves up for the possibility of 72 virgins in some after life dimension. To compare there are no women around willing to blow themselves up for some d*.
He keeps you arou6
It sounds to me he’s simply being friendly and isn’t looking to pursue a relationship? What are your interactions like? Is it flirty or polite and friendly?