I (19f) recently came into a relationship with my boyfriend (22f). We have been together for 3 months. We started out by talking on snapchat. I am extremely introverted and as a result never exchanged any pictures with him. He used to be my schoolmate when I was 17. We met recently, on his request. At first I was very nervous and felt he might stop liking me after this meet. However that never happened and we only came closer. Since we had been talking for over a year, on various occassions he asked me send my pictures, but I told him about my anxiety and insecurities, which he respected and didn’t pressure me further. When we met, he seemed very enthusiastic and warm and gave me a hoard of compliments.
About a month into our relationship, he made comments on my appearance which really hurt me. I was on phone call and he was talking about how he feel so surprised that we become this attached so quick and appreciated some of the things I did for him. I replied : ” That’s my duty ! ” Which he overheard as ” that’s my beauty ” . He then went on to say : ” I am glad, God didn’t make u pretty or else someone would have taken you away from me. ” I didn’t react then and politely ended the conversation. When I brought this up, he told me, he has a habit of saying things casually in this manner that he picked from his male friends and talks about everyone in this manner. I had noticed that he does talk about other people in this manner. He also apologised and reassured me. Later on, somehow this topic came up again. This time he might have said this because he had the impression, other guys wouldn’t like me because I dress modestly and stay more natural. He said he preferred this. He’s made similar such comments later on but somehow worded them as compliments for example : ” Girls who dress in revealing clothes are considered more attractive, I am glad you aren’t like this. ” He says if he had any problems with my appearance, he would never pursue me and is a straightforward guy so would have never complimented me this often either.
Tl;Dr ! My bf makes comments on my appearance which hurt me. I wonder if he actually finds me attractive or not.
3 comments
Well he certainly seems very rude at least. I would not like being “complimented” in the way he seems to go about it.
>This time he might have said this because he had the impression, other guys wouldn’t like me because I dress modestly and stay more natural. He said he preferred this. He’s made similar such comments later on but somehow worded them as compliments for example : ” Girls who dress in revealing clothes are considered more attractive, I am glad you aren’t like this. ”
In my experience, guys who say stuff like this tend to be kind of misogynistic and objectify women.
He probably does find you attractive, but I also think you’re quite right to be put off by how he is acting and talking to you.
I think he finds you attractive but he sounds like a not nice person.
He definitely finds you attractive but he just word-vomiting things without a filter.