Hallo! I’ve been trying to search around online and in this sub but haven’t found anything about this in particular. The last several times my wife and I have played with a vibrator she’s been super into it and then all of a sudden she, in her words, ‘loses it’ and then usually rolls over and goes right to bed (not in a harsh way, in a way we’re done for the night kind of way) She seems very frustrated by this but we are very open with our communication and she doesn’t have any ideas on what would help either. Thanks in advance for any tidbits that might help 🙂
3 comments
Hmm, from my experience, women are better stimulated from the outside. Oral sex yo!
Edit: Penetrative sex is not as stimulating as outer stimulation. Work on everything around her vagina
Gentle massaging, kissing on the upper left or right because they’re sensitive in those areas, and gentle focus on the clit is often the best strategy. You can also work 1 or maybe 2 fingers along the upper side, and put a hand on her lower belly while eating her out. Achieve at least one orgasm first and then start sex. Best I could figure out
This happened with me and my girl before. We had to slow everything way down. Enjoy that particular moment. “Stay in the moment”. And don’t think about having to orgasm. It’s too much pressure on the psyche to think that far ahead.
look – there is no physical reason why a woman cannot have an orgasm, although some women have far greater difficulty than others in reaching a climax.
Reaching orgasm is all about letting go of control, and this concept can be a little frightening for some. Because of this, it is usually better if the woman can learn about her own body and responses without a partner to begin with, so that she can know what it is that gives her pleasure and ultimately brings her to orgasm.
For many women, this happens without even trying, as in adolescence they begin to experiment and find that a particular touch or movement will bring about very satisfying results. This is natural and good, and also takes away any element of having to get it right when they are with a partner – they already know what they like and are able to pass this on to their partner.
This seems like it has not happened with your wife. If she were to go to a sex therapist, she would be encouraged [to start on a programme of self-exploration](https://366moves.wordpress.com/2022/09/30/women-guide/), gradually adding a sexual component through fantasy or the written word when doing this. The thinking is that when she has learned on her own what contributes to her orgasm it will be much easier for her to get there with a partner.
You are very considerate of her, and you might appreciate [this guide](https://366moves.wordpress.com/2022/09/29/female-101/). Then you will have done all that you can and after that I would advise not bringing the subject up again for quite some time. If you keep asking about it this may bring about a certain amount of performance anxiety and she will certainly not be able to let go. ‘A watched pot never boils’ comes to mind!
And well done again on being so solicitous of your wife’s pleasure.