Weird title I’m aware… but basically it’s the best thing I can think of.
I dated a ex for a bit and he was abusive
Physically 2 times and the mentally and emotionally a lot.
He’d cut off my friends and family. No contact. Control my money etc.
I feel like I’ve picked up a bad habit of over thinking my current boyfriends friendships with girls and I feel like it’s gonna ruin things.
In example of tonight my boyfriend said a friend asked him to play MW2 and asked me if I wanted to play I said yes and it was girl I never heard of… this should be fine but I of course made it not fine and was stupid and asked a stupid amount of questions and why couldn’t I just accept their friendship?
Why am I like this now? Having friends of the opposite sex is natural and he accepts my friends…. The only thing after thinking about it for a multitude of hours is that this trait has definitely carried over from my ex where now I feel the opposite sex is some type of signal of loosing your partner, cheating etc.
I hate that I did this I apologized to my boyfriend excessively and we’re fine he actually said the only reason he didn’t get mad about me asking and being the way I was is because he knows what my ex did was a lot of trauma and then he asked how could he help and I said to just continuing to be honest with me like he has been.
I used to be confident, fun, outgoing.
I used to be So welcoming.
And now I am this …. Questioning my boyfriend like he’s in the wrong and that’s not fair….. but I have no idea how to prevent it and break it.
2 comments
Counselling, or therapy.
It sounds almost like PTSD
I had an abusive mom and her words still ring in my head and the way she made me feel still comes back even though I’m close to 40. Things like this can take many years to fully heal. It never really goes away completely it just becomes less active and less easily triggered with time.