Hey guys,
Was FWB with a lass for around a year.
She broke it off recently and tried a relationship with another guy for 5 days and slept with him twice. 5 days after she broke it off she messaged me saying it was a terrible mistake and she now wants a relationship with me.
She said because I was adamant on the past about not being in a relationship and that she was scared of rejection she said she chose the work colleague to pursuit as a safe option to prevent me breaking her heart.
Basically she is saying she did all of this because she was scared that she had feelings for me and instead of telling me she tried to direct these feelings elsewhere but seeing someone else. She explained she didn’t even find the guy attractive but her friends were telling her to give it a shot and take it slow (she shown me the texts). But after two dates with this guy she text her friends that “it just isn’t the same as it is with DIGHAC1995” She then explained that if I had shown potential interest in a relationship then she never would have done it.
Ngl, bit bitter that she slept with another guy because she said we would “exclusively” have sex with each other, cut it off, realise he wasn’t for her and now is coming back.
But is this just my pride and ego taking a dent and I should give her a chance? I said maybe we should just go back to FWB but she said now she has expressed her feelings she could never go back to being just a FWB.
TL;DR ex FWB cut it off, slept with another guy twice, realised it wasn’t for her and wants me back but only in a relationship. Do I give it a chance?
4 comments
I think both of you need a break from each other and see other people. No point starting a relationship when she has had doubts about you, while you’re feeling like you do…
Not gonna comment on her story.
I mean do you have feelings for her? Was she right in her assessment that you did not want a relationship?
Also if anything your ego should be inflated.
It sounds like you were the back up. I’d swerve.
First of, if she was afraid of being alone, how can you be sure that she’s not picking you second – last choice because she is afraid of being alone right now?
Secondly, if she wanted a relationship but was unsure if you wanted one, why didn’t she commuinicate that instead of remaining as FWB for a year?
And if she was not able to communicate what kind of relaitonship she wanted with you, is she really mature enough to be involved in an adult relationship?
Lastly I would wadger if I wanted to be a last choice, it does not matter if she actually did not find the other guy attractive or if the sex was bad. It do matter that she is deciding to have sex with people she finds neither attractive nor enjoyable, in fear of being alone. Which again means she’s too imature and has unresolved issues that hinders relationships.
And it does matter that she has sex with new people the same day she leaves an exlusive relationship. Which again, IMO makes her too immature to be in a relationship.
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Don’t be somebodies last choice, how could you ever trust her and be comfortable that she won’t leave you for the next person. Love is only real and worth it when both person want each other on the same level.