hey all! hoping this isn’t something that’s already been discussed – i looked through older posts and didn’t see anything too similar

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so i’m 18, freshman in college, and a virgin. i’ve been perusing dating apps recently and came across someone i found VERY hot – we matched and were talking, and they are interested in hooking up. i am too, however, they warned me that they regretted losing their virginity to someone random. i personally find the ENTIRE concept of “preserving one’s virginity” pretty silly and archaic, and kinda wanna just get my life started, sex-wise.

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i’m wondering if anyone else here has had a similar experience and can offer some advice – should i wait until i find someone i’m emotionally invested in? or should i just have fun and not worry about it? did you lose your virginity to someone random – do you, or do you not, regret it, and why?

\* i should clarify, they said they regretted losing their virginity to someone random bc it “sucked” (shrug)

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thanks in advance!! much love <3

4 comments
  1. I lost my virginity to someone I loved who is still in my life to this day, albeit not romantically. I wouldn’t have it any other way. But I know women who picked the first experienced guy they had the hots for and they didn’t regret it either. I hope you make the right choice for yourself and have no regrets!

  2. I had sex for the first time with someone I didn’t care about, and I don’t regret it at all. I chose to have all of my physical “firsts” with people I didn’t care about because it made me feel less pressure.

    My first time having sex *did* suck, but I still don’t regret it at all.

  3. They are correct. You would prefer it was some one you have feelings for

    When you have sex, it changes your expectations and not always for the better.

    FYI, first time experiences are often disappointing too. You have built up un-meetable expectations if you are a normal person.

    You don’t need to rush into this.

  4. I lost my virginity after my 18th birthday with a friend who was also looking to lose his. No romantic feeling whatsoever. We both shared the same view of just get this thing over with.

    I’m glad I did it this way, because the first time was painful AF!! Having met someone long after that, I’m glad my first time with them wasn’t filled with “ouch, ow! Ugh” lol I think some people over-romanticize the first time too much. Do what feels right for you. And don’t forget some paper towel or something for the blood.

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