My ex (24f) and I (26m) are hanging out this week.
A few weeks ago we met because i wanted to set boundries for some things she was doing. However, when we met up she said that she misses me and wants to start hanging out again.
This surprised me because i didnt think she wanted to. She is a fearful avoidant and has said she is afraid that if we get back together we will break up again. She has trouble expressing her emotions and didnt know how to tell me that she missed me.
She also said that she does want to be with me but she wants our relationship to be different and not the like the last one — communication issues and us being distant towards eachother.
She told me that she isnt seeing/talking to anyone and asked if it was the same for me (it is). She mentioned that she thinks we have been communicating very well with eachother lately and is happy to see it.
Correct me if im wrong but it seems as though she is open to trying again.
I want to take things slow because in the past we tried to talk again but started hooking up right away and it complicated things
Im looking for advice on how to take things slow without adding too much pressure.
We are supposed to go on a walk and hangout at her house after.
TLDR: Looking for advice on how toctake things slow with an ex.
2 comments
Verbalize your boundaries. No hooking up, talk through boundaries around space touching. No pet names etc. Remind yourself that this isn’t an extension of your failed relationship but a new one and you both have to come into this not holding on to baggage from the last one. But talk through the expectations with her and don’t make assumptions, otherwise you will just be backsliding into a bad relationship that already ended.
Is it possible to go on a walk and hang out at a cafe after? While communicating you’re not rejecting her you just want to take it slowly?