So me (20) and this girl (19) already had some history in our past. She was my ex-girlfriend a few years ago and after our breakup we had no contact for around 2 years. She suddenly texted me 3 months ago and first I was really hesitant but at the time I was abroad and I would have not see her for the next two months. So I thought that just texting would be fine. First it was just normal texting and we were just kinda catching up. After a few weeks we began calling each other and until my departure we texted and called each other almost everyday and I know she really enjoyed all of this.
Therefore, as I was back home, we decided to meet up. And it went great, it ended with her coming to my place and us sleeping with each other. After that we still texted and called each other regularly and met a couple of times. All of this went really great and there were no problems or anything.
We met almost everyday for two weeks and then all of a sudden she kinda seemed distant over text. It was not like it was bothering me so I waited two days and after the same thing happened I just called her an asked her if everything was alright, she said yes but she thinks things were moving a bit too quickly and that she doesn’t wanna become too attached to me, afterwards we continued talking over the phone for another hour. I had no problem with that, I’m pretty unsure in which direction I want this whole thing to move so it’s not like I had any expectations or anything. She can take as much time as she wants for whatever she is trying to process, tbh I didn’t really understand what she was meaning.
The following week was alright, we texted a bit and called each other on one occasion but because she said she needs some distance I didn’t really texted her that much. I didn’t bombarded her with messages before, I just stopped texting her regularly. After that we meet up once again and it went as great as always.
But here is where it kinda went south I guess. After leaving from her place I went straight to university and on my way we continued texting. The thing is that she wanted me to go a bit earlier because she needed to work on some uni stuff herself. A friend of mine would pick me up from her place but I still would have waited an hour. She said that she feels bad about this so while texting I jokingly said that my friend already picked me up and I’m almost there while I was still waiting at some bench near her house. I thought she knew that this was a joke because I wasn’t all that serious about it. She kinda got mad at me for lying I guess because she stopped texting me for like a few hours.
At the same day she had a party at her place, she asked if I want to come a few days before but I was unsure because I had other plans and wasn’t really eager to meet her friends again so I didn’t really said anything to this other than “I don’t know let’s see”. And since then she stopped reaching out to me in a normal way, only some random calls in the middle of the night which I missed because I was either busy or was just asleep. She didn’t respond to the messages I sent the following days. This is now going on for a few days and I don’t know if should stop dealing with her because it kinda feels like she isn’t interested anymore. I mean it has to mean somethings she isn’t replying to my texts anymore . And I don’t really want to chase her because after all we only met each other for a month.
The whole situation kinda confuses me and I don’t really know how I could continue this. Any opinion on this would be appreciated.
Thank you
2 comments
To be honest, with the level of consistency and history you have with this woman, and considering the state of dating in this day and age, I would be encouraging you to marry her… Of course that’s a whole nother kettle of fish to deal with later, but meh. Sounds like you’re used to each other anyway. You and her need to patch this up.
So you were 16/17 when you last dated? People change a lot in that time frame. I doubt either of you are the same people you were when you were teenagers. It sounds like she reached out because she was looking for something familiar and maybe wanted to rekindle that young love feeling, but has since realized it’s not what she expected.
I think you both need to talk about what you want to be. FWB, a casual hook-up, boyfriend/girlfriend. Right now you’re doing a lot of speculating because there isn’t clear communication between you.