I was recently watching suits and was pleasantly taken back with the fact that how integratal each relationship is potrayed to the extent that each couple reveals their deepest secrets/stories to their partners.
Wondering if people would do the same in real life ?
If not, what are the things that you would hide from your partner and why ?
20 comments
I would not be totally open and reveal everything to my partner. There are some things that I would keep from them and the reasons vary. It could be something embarrassing that I don’t want them to know, or it could be something that I know would upset them if they found out.
I tell on demand. I have nothing to hide but I have also no need to “just share”.
Being open in real life is very different from tv or movies. In movies if a man said he’s scared to dance because it reminds him of his dead mother who was a world reknowned dancer, the female love interest would try to help him overcome this hurdle. In real life your girl would probably just fuck your best friend and leave you.
I don’t think being totally open is a good path for everyone. There are some things that one simply doesn’t need to know. But I also think this is highly dependent on the people in the relationship. Some couples can handle more than others can. Some have one emotionally steady person and one who is more feeling or volatile.
For me: I’ve got a more checkered past than my wife does. I share enough that she knows me and what’s important, but I keep things that would negatively impact her away from her. I do this for a lot of our friends as well…sometimes people just need a place to unload, I’m that guy for most people we know…it allows them to keep some harsher realities of their past and secrets they need to express away from their partners, not all of whom can take it.
That said, I do have a friend couple who are completely open with one another, far beyond what I’ve ever seen before and I think it’s working for them… but I have also noticed differences in the last couple of years which might be pandemic related and it might be related to how each reacts to things the other has revealed. One thing I can say is that they’ve shifted their dynamic from him being more “in charge” (if that is a thing) in the relationship to her being the dominant one…and I think some of that does come from how they’ve interacted as they discuss elements of their pasts
While I am honest and never lie, I do avoid sharing certain things that aren’t asked of me. It’s half paranoia, half real experience. Anything to do with insecurities or “weakness” in men is sadly still not well tolerated in society.
I hid nothing from my ex-wife and had it all thrown back at me in a weaponized way.
It makes for a satisfying relationship, if the person is trustworthy…but very dangerous if they are not.
Errrrrrrrrm?
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Naaaaa.
Is it relevant? Will it add to the relationship? Will the other person judge you for it?
Different situations, different answers.
I want to.
But I won’t.
Maybe if asked very outright.
I had a couple dark years. Addiction to alcohol, drugs, sex, it was all a blur. I was drunk or high 90% of the time, I had sex with so many people I lost count. I came out the other end ok though, healthy and clean now.
I don’t really wanna share or talk about it unless my partner really really wanted to know.
No point in keeping secrets they will find out eventually
If the want to know, sure
What did you just say to me?!!
That is god damn bull shit.
the more you open, the more are chances of she get freak out and leave you
I share basically everything with my wife and she does her best to care. I have nothing to hide from her.
No, there’s some shit you should just not tell your partner. Suits is a fictional tv show.
When what ever it is comes up or she needs to know, sure. I’m not running a bunch of random info dumps that aren’t relevant.
Nice try
at this point in my relationship with my wife, I’d tell her anything, but I’d provide her with a “caution, you might not like what you hear”.
I don’t fuck around in life or anything, I have nothing to hide from her at this point.
WIth that said, she has to ask.
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I’m not the type to just talk random stuff for the sake of letting people know things.
i dont know. i told my ex alot, she couldnt handle it because those things where a problem all of a sudden after 7 months
Well I try to keep my sexual fantasies about her sisters to myself, but it’s hard not to share.