This is the place to share your thoughts on dating. Get as meta as you want, within the rules.

8 comments

  1. Well, now that November is here, it’s back to my yearly holiday dating break! Ho hum. Another year of dating and just nothing really clicked.

    I do like my cozy alone time, but I sure would have liked an SO to do holidays with this year.

    But! In 2023, I shall try again! And who knows what’ll be in store for me then! 🖤

  2. Who knew writing about yourself could be so hard! I’ve put together some options for my profile/prompt, but I can’t decide which to use and I feel like it’s a bunch of random things versus telling a story about why they should swipe right.
    Are any of these any good? Am I missing the point?
    For context, I’m 34 F and in a major city (roughly 5M)
    **About me:**
    Lifelong tomboy who has grown to love throwing on a dress and heels when we’re doing something special
    Surface level knowledge of enough topics to entertain strangers at dinner
    Owner of a large hot sauce collection, too many meal prep containers, and Cardinals season tickets
    **Favorite Quality In A Person…**
    Intellectual curiosity
    **I Get Way Too Excited About…**
    Museum exhibits, architecture, fashion and public art
    UFC Cards (I rarely miss a PPV)
    Recipes I can convert to fit my macros
    **My Zombie Apocalypse Plan Is…**
    Shockingly well planned out, which means I will probably die early and someone else can use my urban or rural fortress options to rebuild society (or start a cult).
    **If I Have A Superpower It’d Be…**
    Reading, writing, and speaking every language in the world.
    **I’m A Real Nerd About…**
    Finishing The Economist every week
    Low carb baking (it’s real, I promise)
    World building science fiction
    **Something I Learned Way Later Than I Should Have…**
    I like going to the gym! I started consistently going over the summer and it’s been a huge boon for my mental health.

  3. So I just talked to L on the phone for like 2 hours, and we watched It’s the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown, which is my favorite Halloween movie from when I was a kid.

    We talked about so much, and it still felt like no time passed. I’m finding that I like her more and more the more I get to know about her. We talked about her past, and she’s used to people getting freaked out and judging her, and all I can think is how strong she is to have come through that and be the wonderful woman she is today.

    The best part is the communication is so open and so honest, I know she’s feeling the same way. I didn’t think I’d ever connect with someone like this again in my life. Honestly even with my ex wife it didn’t feel like this. This is something else, and it’s wonderful.

    I am so incredibly lucky.

  5. As ive been going through this journey of dating, that sometimes my emotions, and excitement of a potential new relationship can blind me or make forget about some of the things that a red flags, or make me overlook things that are counter to who I am as a person.

    That short breaks of no interaction/comms allows time to really reflect what I am truly willing to accept, or what I understand are non-negotiables (i understand we are all not perfect). I need accept that when im confused about something, that I should trust my gut, and not just pretend to be understanding of a given perspective.

  6. Trying to send I’m interested signals out to a guy and man it’s labor intensive. Spent part of today with him in a group setting and made zero one-on-one connection, but I looked good doing it so at least there’s that. Then I went out for dinner and spiked lemonade with my best bud, and we were the only ones in costumes so that was ridiculous and good for laughs. Now I’m home watching Barbarella. It’s been a good day and everything is okay, and maybe this dude will open his dang eyeballs tomorrow.

  8. When a relationship ends, do you typically regret having gotten into it in the first place?

    I’ve been reflecting on this today. In the last few years, I’ve had 3 significant (for me) connections end.

    One was a long-distance thing, lasted 6 years, ended because of the distance. It was a mutual and amicable breakup. I only have fond memories of him, I still maintain he’s one of the best people I’ve ever known and I know he’ll make a great partner to someone someday. So no regrets there.

    Soon after the breakup above, a new man entered my life. Even thought it was never meant to be a long-term, serious relationship, it was my longest (18 months) and most significant relationship to date. While it was very turbulent at times (the highs were high, but the lows were very low – quite toxic, actually), I wouldn’t take anything of it back. Quite messy breakup, but I made some incredibly exciting, lifelong memories with him, and I’ve learned tons – about myself, about human nature, about relationships. He also awakened me sexually, and I’ll be forever grateful for that. This experience really changed me in so many ways, and I’d say for the better.

    Last year I dated someone for 6 weeks and I was the one to end things. Honestly, that experience was so insignificant that I don’t care either way – I’m neither thankful nor regretful for the experience, lol.

    But my recent dating experience (the injured guy)? I actually regret having ever met him. I know it’s a very dramatic thing to say about someone you only dated for 2 months, and who never passed the platonic stage, but it’s how I feel. It’s true there are other factors at play, but combined with the combination of me being ill and unmoving for 2 weeks (while I’m otherwise someone who leads a very active, fit lifestyle . so being sedentary always affects my mood) I’ve gotten into such a funk that I don’t see the way out. I’m subdued, lazy, isolated, eating emotionally. I feel ugly for the first time in *years*. While some of our dates were lovely, none of the experiences were such that I couldn’t experience them with someone else or even alone (hiking). I realize I’ll probably feel less bitter about the whole thing with time, but I feel like the only thing I’ve gotten out of this connection in the end is some misery and extra fat. 🤷

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