How do you deal with friends copying you?

19 comments

1. I’d end the friendship, I’ve seen Single White Female I know how it progresses!

2. That’s not really a concern for me. If a friend likes my style, they are welcome to adopt the elements of it that make them happy. As long as they aren’t moving into creepy stalker territory with it, I can’t be bothered to care about that. It’s not as though my clothes, hairstyle, or furniture are so unique that thousands of other random people don’t share similar styles already.

3. I had a friend who did this and I honestly did get annoyed especially when she spouted lots of inspo on being an individual. I would often say “Twinsies!'” when she’d wear a similar outfit. Another friend mentioned she’s trying to be my doppelganger within earshot and a few days later, the copying stopped. Maybe it’s an unconscious thing?

4. I’ve never really think about it too deeply because a lot of my friends and I have similar styles and tastes. It isn’t uncommon or unsurprising that if one of us does something it might inspire someone else to do something similar.

   I think when I was younger this might have annoyed me more but as I’ve gotten older, seen how people are influenced through social media and also knowing how hard it can be to figure out your own personal style the more I’ve realized its not really about me and I’ve come to care less.

5. I had one of those in high school. I stared just making shit up to see if she’d go for it, like saying I was really getting into Kylie Minogue, when I knew she pretty much only listened to screamo. Nothing irreversible, just petty dumb shit.

   Nowadays, I don’t think I’d give a shit. I’m an amalgamation of every woman I’ve ever thought was cool. Why shouldn’t someone put some of me into their amalgamation?

6. i guess it depends on the friend. one did it and it was pretty flattering, we were very close and it felt like mutual admiration (it was mainly things like books, similar interests, hobbies) whereas another friend did it and it felt like they were gonna rip my face of and wear it as a mask (copied all my outfits, hair, buying exact same things as me). there were more problems ofc but i cut off the latter friend. the former is still my best friend

7. I would say something because it’s annoying. A certain level of copying is fine, I take a lot of my clothing inspiration from the people around me and also don’t mind if a friend occasionally buys the same coat or bag as me. If it only happens sometimes and it’s clear that friend has their own style and personality then it’s fine and even flattering. If its just plain copying it’s weird as hell and I would ask them to stop.

8. I absolutely hate that idea, do your own thing don’t copy me. If it’s something small I wouldn’t mind but if she wants to dress up like me or talk like me nope not happening. It always happens to me with this one particular girl, she copies anything and everything and ends up taking credit for it. I also like to gatekeep my meme pages 😭

9. I have a friend like this, it started with a handbag which then progressed on to my personal interests and my life aspirations.. I now keep a lid on some of the things in my.life and keep her at arms length. I also don’t wear new clothes or handbags around her as I know she will have something similar next time I see her.

   I too have thought of “starting” new hobbies, fishing perhaps and maybe becoming a strong supporter of Trump and see how long it takes to filter through.

   The Single White Female film makes me feel uncomfortable about this situation though, my friend does have some mental health issues which may or may not contribute to the above although I very much doubt she would go to that length 😅

10. I just got uncomfortable enough that I stopped talking to her. It started with hair colour and clothing style and brands, which would have been fine, but it eventually got to the point where if we went shopping together, she’d always buy the exact same things as I did, regardless of whether she needed/wanted them or not. There was even an instance where I noticed her glancing at me while we walked together, trying to imitate my walking style. She creeped me out immensely, and I felt like her relation to me wasn’t healthy.

    After we “broke up”, she went on to start copying another friend and eventually ended up applying for a job at the same small company as her, something the latter found weird, so I feel like I made the right choice.

11. Hey if my friends want to cosplay an average 50-year-old woman who still listens to 80s hair bands and rocks leggings and concert tees with doc martens, more power to them.

12. Depends on what and how. I actively try to get my friends into shit I like so we can enjoy it together. We’re all nerds, and sometimes we buy matching shit on purpose. The most extreme example is the one I call my wife. We have matching backpacks, jewelry, clothes, and hair. Whenever one of us gets into something hardcore, we invite the other to join the fun! No hard feelings if it’s not a fit, but brings us closer if it is.

    I think it crosses a line if they pretend it’s not happening or they become obsessive.

13. Depends on the situation!

    If it happens occasionally I would feel flattered and not say anything.
    – E.g a friend copies an outfit, starts listening to music that I’m into, picks up one of my hobbies. I wouldn’t call any of these things ‘copying’ unless it happens several times.

    If it happens consistently I would pay attention to how my friend behaves:
    – Copying indicates insecurity to me. I would probably distance myself from someone who is constantly insecure and doesn’t seem to have a personality of her own. I don’t mean to be harsh, but these aren’t the type of girls I want to surround myself with.
    – If the friend has a lot of great characteristics and it’s more likely that she feels lost and is exploring her style/hobbies/etc, then I would suggest doing things together. Either go shopping together or invite her to do something else together. And I’d steer her into exploring things on her own.

    I would likely not address it. Either it’s not enough of a big deal for me to do something about it (and a conversation will likely embarrass them) or it’s become such a big deal that I don’t even want to be friends anymore.

    Are you experiencing something this right now? If you don’t mind telling us, I’d be curious to hear what the situation is like!

14. I wouldn’t care about it now as an adult but I had someone do it from like ages 13-20ish as they were my best friend. She’d lie about being into the exact things I liked and because she was more attractive than me at the time, all the men our age and our friends would gravitate towards her and her cool interests that she’d siphoned off of me. But if you asked her any details about the things she claimed to like she wasn’t able to carry on a conversation about any of it.

    She’d get overly close to any men I brought around even if I only had a passing interest in them/they were just friends. She’d wear my clothes or jewelry and even makeup. She went out and bought the exact same shirts as me on more than one occasion and then would get pissed if we wore them on the same day by accident. I’d make a joke to her privately then she’d repeat it to a group and get the laughs. She even tried to copy like bad lifestyle choices, like drugs I had done. She stole a bunch of my stuff when I moved from our apartment and she’s been in photos wearing some of it still like 10 years later. I’m not the only person she does it to, she basically latches onto whatever is cool and dresses to fit in with whatever group of people she associates with at the time like a chameleon and I think it’s a mental health issue or lack of her own identity causing it

15. I ended the friendship when I realised she was competing with me on every level, from exercise, to weight, from clothes to trips. What made it worse was her pretence that the ideas were hers, or even worse, inspired by someone else. It was so blatant that she’d copied me, it was breathtaking.

16. I’m an adult. I have more important things to worry about that requires my attention far more than someone copying me. Getting mad about someone copying you is like elementary/middle school nonsense.

17. Had this recently with a pal, she suddenly started getting same clothes, kitchenware, colour scheme etc. I was due to move to a part of the country where I had family but she had no connection to and hadn’t even heard of, she appeared one afternoon full of beans and excitedly announced she was house hunting in the town I was going to. I just stared at her. And stared. She changed her mind, we have both since moved but she’s four counties away 😀 was weird, I could have maybe got it if we were both 20 but we’re middle aged ffs.

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19. my take is just, oh no, someone’s wearing the same outfit as me? probably because we both shop at the same place. it’s not that deep. someone wants the same hairstyle as me? okay, what’s wrong with that?

    it reminds me of those girls in high school whose entire personality was “look how quirky/unique/different i am — it just so happens to be in the same exact way that other girl is quirky/unique/different!”