We’ve been together 6 months. Everything is great and I trust her. She’s very VERY smart, super kind and sweet, and also super attractive with green eyes, jet black hair and very fair skin. She is fairly active on Instagram but only posts selfies very rarely on her story. She mostly shares her cooking/baking or stuff she does with friends. She works out a lot, and has a really nice hourglass body.
Obviusly, I love all that about her. But occasionally she’ll post a selfie that definitely shows off her body and I get really uncomfortable. She’s almost always fully clothed. The most “revealing” might have been a post in a sports bra and normal workout shorts. Tonight was Halloween and she wore a skin tight bodysuit skeleton costume. Again, she’s basically covered from head to toe as it’s a long sleeved body suit. But she is super curvy and the picture really highlights her curves.
I’m obviously super attracted to her but I can’t help but feel like she’s looking for atrention from other guys, or that a bunch of guys will almost definitely be in her DMs now.
Am I overreacting? I’m upset and don’t know how to approach it, if I should ask her not to do it, or just deal with it?
Tl;dr my girlfriend posts hot selfies on Instagram and I feel jealous.
10 comments
You have a hot girlfriend and all you choose to fixate over is some PRESUMPTION that she’s attention seeking?
Enjoy the hotness, she’s YOURS.
Don’t fuck this up.
Work on yourself silently, don’t entertain your paranoid thoughts. This is YOUR insecurity, this is NOT her reality. Do not let yourself fixate over this. When you feel insecure, just distract yourself, go workout, improve your skills, try to pursue something greater professionally, try to spend time with her/your friends. Do things that make you feel proud of yourself so you don’t worry you’re not good enough.
Don’t tell anyone you’re insecure, it’ll become a real truth then. Right now it’s in your head, nip it in the bud.
Enjoy your relationship, treat her well, treat yourself well, everything will turn out well. Good luck
I’ve dated a model and at first was a bit uncomfortable with her sharing revealing pictures on Instagram, but at the end of the day, who’s she coming home to? You, presumably! If she gets a lot of male attention, as long as she’s not reciprocating, then try to consider yourself lucky that you have an attractive girlfriend! I hate to break it to you, but she’s probably already had tons of guys in her DMs already. The way you should approach it, imo, is to absolutely *not* bring it up. If it really does bother you, I’d suggest just not looking on her Instagram.
This is insanely common, I don’t know if you realize how common this is. But let her post and don’t think too hard about it. Trust me it will be a small mental inconvenience at first but if you can eventually get past that hurdle it isn’t so bad and your relationship will be so much more fulfilling.
Don’t fall into the trap of the mindset that “she’s doing it for male validation.” You might hear this from a lot of guys on online threads but IMO i think they have just been burned by someone active on social media in their past, or are just misogynistic. Put yourself in her shoes: as a guy, if you get a cool new toy, a new haircut, go to the gym to work out, got something cool done, you’d probably tell your friends right? As humans, we all want to feel cool, we all want to feel like we’re doing something trendy in some sense. For her, it’s probably just showing off her outfits, what she’s up to. Might seem weird to a lot of guys that that’s how girls fit in with each other, but it’s the way it is: for a lot of girls, sharing your outfit or sharing your gym bod progress is that way of feeling cool, that way of knowing that all your friends think of you positively. Don’t make her feel ashamed of just wanting to fit into society. No one wants to be an outcast.
Yes, there are definitely guys on social media and in the world. But, do they really care about what she, of all people in the world, is up to like you do? Do they really care what she looks like, with all the p*rn that exists on the internet? She isn’t doing it for them, I can almost guarantee that. And even if someone does go in her DMs, should you really be comparing yourself with some low-life creep that hits up a girl from a story? If it makes you feel better, those guys are certainly doing it to more than just her, whether they show their body or not. And they certainly won’t be getting her anytime soon, if she loves you which it sounds like she does, she won’t give any mind to those guys except for a possible “thank you” in the worst case. Don’t linger on this, it’s not a good hole to fall into.
If she’s your girlfriend she’s YOUR girlfriend! Don’t shy away from telling her how awesome you think she looks, heart up those stories, why don’t YOU be the guy that DMs her? I’m sure she would love that and actually flirt back with you lol
TL;dr, 50% of the world is guys, so please don’t fret on this it isn’t worth the headache. she isn’t posting for them most definitely. she posts to fit in and feel cool with her friends and the internet, so make her feel cool by reacting appropriately and i’m sure she would appreciate that a lot 🙂
She’s with you. She’s interested in attention – most people are – for things like her costume. Why would that mean she wants other men’s sexual attention?
Of course she’s looking for attention. Otherwise she wouldn’t be posting stuff like that to public Instagram accounts.
But you knew she was attention seeking when you met her.
So what’s the problem?
It’s weird how yall choose to be in relationships with people who post those kinds of images. And then complain about it.
Not every woman is on Instagram.
Go date them.
If she wants to show things going on in her life then sometimes that will include photos that show her body- like a Halloween costume. It doesn’t seem like she’s constantly posting sexy pics to get attention, so no you can’t really tell her to never post an insta story that contains her body just in case a guy replies to it. You could ask her if she ever gets DMs from guys hitting on her and ask how she responds and discuss where each of your boundaries are around that.
Grow up, good lord. Her body isn’t yours to claim like some horny chimp
And if she dressed frumpy, you would find it an “embarrassment” to be with her, and you would complain, and you would start looking for a woman who dressed more attractively. Whatever. You are too old to be acting like this. Sad.
yeah, ask a 34 year old woman to not post totally reasonable pics on instagram. let us know how that goes for you.
EDIT: oh the post is fake, post history has them posting as a woman last time zz
She’s with you. Tell her how ‘fire’ her photograph looks. And how ‘hot’ she is. Just be honest with her that you feel lucky that she’s with you.
Unfortunately, OP, just so you know. Many women get unsolicited DM even when they’re not trying to be sexy on their pics. I can safely tell you this is what happened to me and many other of my friends. So I can assure you, she’s been receiving those unsolicited DMs since day 1 she posts on her Instagram.
So sure, this time around, she’ll get some unwanted unsolicited DMs. Even some thirst comments. But most of us know better that those people are just ‘thirsty’ and would roll our eyes at those DMs and laugh at them (or delete). But definitely, those DMs are going to be ignored.