Me and this woman met on a dating app in the middle of the pandemic beginning of 2020. We instantly clicked, we were into each other and became a big part of each others lives as time went by. It got to the point where I was ready to visit Australia to go and see her but the borders just wouldn’t open so it was a matter of waiting. This wasn’t a problem as we basically spoke every single day to each other, everything was just natural between us.
However around 2021 summer the borders still wasn’t opening and things got to the point where is this something that we can keep up? She was also starting work too so we didn’t have time to speak as much as we used to so she called me and essentially said she couldn’t do this any more. It broke me but I understood.
We still kept in touch every now and then but I had to persue elsewhere and met someone here in the UK afterwards. But me and the Australian woman never spoke about our dating lives. So when I was ready to get into my first relationship with the one from the Uk I decided to call the Australian girl around December and let her know this is what I’m going to do. Although we never spoke about dating (because we were still in touch) I wanted to let her know out of respect. We spoke on the phone and she was so understanding and she was not having the best of luck dating wise on her side which made me feel bad but I was ready to persue this relationship.
A month later after this conversation we broke up for reasons irrelevant. It was the Australian woman’s birthday two weeks after we broke up so I got in touch to wish her a happy birthday and we caught up in life. But I also told her the situation about my break up. She was in agreeable that what happened to me (again irrelevant to this) was not justified for the break up. But at the same time the Australian borders opened up at that same time and now I thought about using this change whilst the weather is good in Melbourne to go there and visit.
Now this is the key part. She agreed but she said that there was someone she saw beforehand but it was only a FWB and there was nothing so I told her look I can come but we have to be on the same page and she agreed. I’ve booked my tickets now. A week later we sent some personal photos to each other I’m excited as hell. But then she dropped something on me which put a dark cloud over the remainder of the wait ti the trip. She basically said that she was willing to give this other guy a try but she insists that this is something that was said in the phone conversation so this comes down to miscommunication which is too late now because I’ve booked my tickets. Essentially she’s in a conflicted state because of what we’ve had compared to what she has with the other guy. So we decided that I need to give her time until I arrive to Australia a month later.
This was a horrible month because I’m constantly overthinking scenarios and it really did put a stain on my excitement to come. But I’m here now in Australia and we’ve met for the first time and it has been one of the best experiences with her. At the end I did bring up wanting to have that convo about what she wants and he is still conflicted . She told me that I make her feel like herself and that and she feels so comfortable around me. We spent the whole day together and this made me realise she is the one for me. But circumstances ate tough because I live in the UK and there’s the whole short term aspect where I’m not there and that’s something she thinks about whilst there’s another guy here. She said that although there’s the physical aspect with him she doesn’t get the same vibe with him and doesn’t fulfil her the way I do but there’s so many moving parts. So we agreed that whilst I’m here for two weeks with my other friend in Australia to enjoy the holiday and she will make a decision about it soon.she also doesn’t want to do anything behind the other guys back which I fully understand . The sexual tension is there between us but we have to be respectful because we don’t want to do anything that damages any chances .
I know I have to wait but it’s something I can’t stop thinking about I like her so much and so does she towards me. I am willing to study abroad for at least one year to see how it goes with her but I want it to be a thing her I want her to be able to trust me and give me patience and time to make this happen. There’s so many moving parts but it’s a tough situation. But she’s very mature and understanding and she said I’m the only person who in these situations doesn’t feel awkward talking about it.
Do you have any words of encouragement for someone like me in another country in a situation like this? Is there anything you recommend to help or to help my chances?
Thanks so much for this
TL;DR – Met Australian woman online in 2020, spoke everyday waiting for the borders until July 2021 but stopped speaking. We spoke again when the borders opened up and agreed to meet but she is conflicted between me and another guy. I’m in Australia now and things are good but I can’t stop overthinking the situation