I don’t know when it started exactly but I’m so insecure about my body. I struggled with EDs and self esteem issues but it’s made me want to look sexy in every single sexual scenario. I’ve become obsessed. It’s like every sexual encounter is great until a day after when I remember every painstaking moment of “what if my face did this?” “Why did I say this?” This happens for hours every single day. I feel like pulling my hair out. I can barely keep in contact with the people I’ve slept with and now I feel genuinely sick at the idea of past sexual encounters. I have a partner and I can’t have sex with the lights on. I can’t look at him when I orgasm. When I orgasm I apologise and say “Sorry if that was gross.” And go have a small cry in the bathroom. I don’t know how to get help for bedroom issues. I see a psyche for my BPD and they just offer me pills and say therapy’s years long. Please. Help.
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Do you think you might have OCD or Pure obsession OCD?