Hi. I’m awkward. What is a normal, appropriate way to comfort a coworker who bursts into tears regarding her dying mother?
It has happened twice now and I just stood there and said some probably unhelpful things about how nice it was that she was there for her.
I’m not a hugger because I’m short and I mostly just bury my face in peoples boobs when I try to hug them but should I try anyway? Pat her on the back?
I don’t know how to match someone’s energy when they’re upset about someone I don’t know.
6 comments
Just say that you don’t understand their pain but that you are listening and that she still lives on in her memory.
That person shouldn’t be at work. They should be at home with their dying mother.
I would do both those things. Its the thought that counts man.
Grief is hard to respond to. Rubbing her upper arm may be better than hugging, but even that might not be the thing to do sometimes.
You could have her sit somewhere private, hand her tissues, get her some tea…
It’s a little easier to think of nice things to do for her when she’s not in the middle of crying, that could help her feel a bit better overall.
It’s not your job to take care of this person. It’s awkward because they are making it so. Politely invent a way to cut the convo short and stop being a counselor, it’a not your job description.
Just being there and not walking away is sometimes the best response to give. I wouldn’t want to be touched at work, even a shoulder pat, but everyone is different.
Sounds to me like you’re already handling it the right way by just being there. You can ask her if she wants a hug, and see what she says. Sometimes it’s the thought that counts. She probably already knows you feel for her.