We share an 8 month old. I am furious. How do you cope? How do you heal? How do you move on?

EDIT: I left

27 comments

  2. That suck. You won’t be able to cope but to accept it. He cheated. You lost trust in him forever.

    He’ll try his best to make you forgive him. But it’s still there. He cheated. Memory will never just vanish with a good deed. You’ll just hate yourself more and more for trying to stay.

    I’m a second chance guy.. But some things just can’t be slide. Cheating is one of them.

  3. I am sorry. That really sucks.

    Take one day at a time. You know you deserve better and you showed him by leaving. You are brave. Continue to be strong. Your baby needs a strong mama.

  4. Your previous posts indicated that you had no proof. How did you find out and what did he do?

  5. You sound very judgmental. We were together for 4 and a half years. We were going to get married. There is nothing you’ve mentioned here that describes me, especially leading with bedroom fun. I was in love. I pictured the rest of my fucking life with him. He wanted 3 kids with me and I with him. We were going to get married and try for another child in a year or so.

  6. See if you can find a support group online with other people in your situation who you can talk to who understand what you are going through. Also seek some individual therapy to help you overcome beyond this. It’s gonna suck for a while but keep seeing there’s a light at the end and this is temporary. Just get that POS out of your life and work on yourself and creating a stable loving home for your baby. I’m so sorry that you are going through this.

  7. I have a babies momma lives with her uncle not blood relative . I know she’s cheating with him or someone else I still see her and kids .I’m really stupid she thinks I don’t know

  9. You take it one day at a time. Concentrate on yourself, and you baby.
    Get a lawyer. Get child support. Protect yourself, and listen to the lawyer.
    Make yourself a list. One side, things you have to do, and the other, things you want to do.

    I’m sorry for you. But at least now, you know, and you’re out.

  11. My girl cheated too. We shared a 7 year old boy. We separated for 4 mos. I realized my kid needs her. She begged for forgiveness. I took her back and told her that it was her last chance. At first I thought it was for the kid but I also realized I still loved her and I also had some neglect on my part. 2 years now we’re doing fine. I get scared and worry sometimes, but I stay strong and try to get through the day with a smile. You choose your own destiny and is solely responsible for it. Never let anyone dictate what you want and need.

  12. It’s traumatic every time if there truly was love for the offending party. I’m still in counseling from some messed up psychological abuse and cheating during my last marriage. Divorced 4 years ago and still fuggered up from her crap. Do what you need to do for YOU.

  13. I forgave my cheating husband three years ago. He begged and cried and I believed he was so messed up over it he would never do it again…. And three weeks ago I caught him w his hands and mouth all over a stranger at a bar. Deep down in his character he shouldn’t ever want to cross that line. But since he has you know his character, and that is formed in youth. You take a huge risk to stay. The most valuable thing in this world to a woman is our time. Forgiving him cost me 3 more years of my life!

  14. I see. You obviously have been through a lot and even if you don’t have the actual proof I can still see where you are coming from.

    I am actually surprised that you haven’t checked his actual snapchat and see where he is texting or his Google timeline to see where he went and how long he stayed in that location.

    My opinion, is that since you share a child you should sit down with him and explain what you explained to me and see what he would say. However, if you are convinced that he is cheating f that and good for you that you found the strength to be outm

  15. It’s going to be hard you might even find yourself aching to go back. Don’t unless you are fully prepared to go through it again. Keep in mind that some people are temporarily in your life for no good reason.

  16. So sorry, good for you knowing your worth and leaving, what a disgusting bloke, tell him to set up visit with him son via a 3rd party like his parents or yours or a sibling so you don’t have to see him. You deserve better

  18. 6/9 (no, not on purpose that was a Friday) i left my partner of 9 years. i raised 4 children from the youngest not being 1 yet to the oldest just started 9th grade. she cheated, few times. last time i left. made me feel so worthless..people say i’m attractive but…i wanted my family more than anything. i can’t even bring myself to try to talk to other girls..it’s ruined me.

  19. Been there and done that. Time helps. Give yourself plenty of time before you jump into dating. Make future plans (mine was nursing school). Family or friend support is helpful.

    I am happy that I kicked him out and got on with my life; it wasn’t just the cheating, but the cheating was the catalyst for me.

    It’s been decades since that happened. I built my kids and myself a good life (they grew into happy and successful adults). Leaving was the right choice for me.

  20. I’m sorry, I don’t know.

    My partner cheated on me too and I am trying to forgive him but I don’t think it’s possible.
    The act of it itself doesn’t upset me as much as knowing that he knew he was risking our relationship..

    I officially don’t think it’s possible to move on and I think anyone who says otherwise has not been cheated on

  21. It’s for the best you left, we’re all proud of you. Many don’t believe in what I’m about to say, but once a cheater is always a cheater, and if they do have a change in heart, the person that got cheated on can’t bring themselves to trust the cheater. No matter how many passwords they give you, if they’re with you 24/7, there won’t be a minute where you can rest in peace and trust them fully again. You saved yourself from an awful and toxic situation :))

  22. you’re going to find someone some day who loves you and your child unconditionally ❤️ It don’t matter who the men are and who they are with … if they’re cheaters … they’ll cheat… He did us a favor showing his true colors bc who wants their child around that none sense. It sucks but one door closes and another will open. He will learn his lesson for sure. He’s clearly surrounding himself with the same type of people as him. You are so strong and so brave and YOU did the right thing and the best thing not only for yourself but especially for your child. He’s going to be one strong, independent person one day who will thank you for showing him that when people in your life take advantage of you don’t be afraid to cut them off and find yourself again because happiness comes from within and not others. What one man can’t figure out another has already. Keep your head up queen. Even the most horrible men in the public eye have cheated on their women so .. the issue is clearly NOT the women. Men feel too comfortable in this toxic masculinity society

  23. Find place to went, block all possible contacts with him at lest for now, try to focus on something else, your hobbies lets say, if you’re social then spend time with your friends. No matter what people say, time is the best healer, you need it, and sooner you have it – better for you.

  24. I think the most important thing is the child right now.. I would hope u guys can work it out so the kid doesn’t have to grow up in a broken home but again, u shouldn’t stay if the man doesn’t have basic respect

  25. I forgave someone for cheating and I WISH I could go back and change that. Leave them.

  26. You already know the answer, leave. Leave, leave and leave, don’t ever look back. Leave, RIGHT NOW.

  27. Similar situation here. My baby daddy who I had a 5 year old and 2 year old with cheated. We were together for 17 years, married for 9 and once I found out we split up. It’s now been 1.5 years, we’re divorced and we’re in a good place and coparenting effectively.

    In the beginning there were days where I didn’t think I would ever feel okay but I let myself cry, focused on the things I still had to be thankful for and on the days he had the kids I took the time to do things that brought me joy. Spending time with friends, family and working on hobbies that I had set aside for years.

    There are still days I feel sad thinking about memories but they are few and far between. I do still struggle with trust but go to a counselor once a month (went more often when we first spilt).

    I wish you all the best and promise you are probably stronger than you ever thought possible!

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