I hope this is apt for this sub. I have terrible social skills so articulating myself for something this serious is daunting, but it has to be done.
My (21M) friend’s (23F) Mum passed away quite suddenly yesterday morning. I found out in the evening and instantly called her to reassure her that I was there if she needed to talk. I said I’d come and see her when I’m back in town this weekend. She ended the call pretty abruptly so I assumed she just wanted space.
Until I see her, I want to make sure I regularly check up on her but what do I say exactly? “How you feeling” seems like a dumb question to ask as the answer is obvious. I don’t know if that’d come off as insulting.
I’m wanting to drop her a text this morning (it’s currently 9am here) and I’m just wondering what to say exactly? “Did you sleep ok” is the only follow on to our conversation I can think of.
Other people who have been in my situation, what have you said to check up on someone who is grieving?
2 comments
I’m very sorry for her loss!
I think just a text “just checking in if you need anything. You are not alone!” Would be appropriate if you don’t wanna pressure stuff.
The genuine truth usually is appreciated in these situations. As in, “Hey, I’ve been thinking about you a lot. I hope you’re doing okay. No worries if you need some space — just know we’re all here for you with you might need.” It goes a long way for a lot of people if you sound genuine, and not as though your messages of support feel obligatory.