At what point in a relationship do you ask/consider the girl you are dating to be your girlfriend?

33 comments

1. Yes, ask her

2. It seems you have already discussed exclusivity, i.e. not dating other people. So how is she not your girlfriend yet? What else needs to be formalized?

   If someone I had slept with, texted daily, and had agreed with to be exclusive asked me to be their boyfriend I would be quite confused.

   “Am I not already?”

   But that’s me. You should discuss this with her, instead of us.

   ​

   As for the actual question: when would I personally consider asking a girl to be my girlfriend? Long before the sex happened.

3. 2 things: have you dated anyone else since your divorce (and how long ago was it)
   And, have you figured out your part in your divorce and are making steps to correct it?

   Yes, she’s into you. Just ask her, I mean, talking to your (prospective) partner is one way to know if you can communicate well through uncertainty.

4. It’s a discussion to be had. Usually around 2-3 months is when it’s defined. If she still isn’t ready after that I would advise caution

5. After a year or two

6. Neither of you want to see other people….

   Sounds like you already are, just without the name. Just ask her

7. FFS…. we’re banging, we’ve talked about being exclusive and agreed to be so.

   “Should I ask her” … bruh. she’s already your gf.

8. When I ask her if we are and she says yes

9. Fair warning: don’t fall head over heels for the first person you get with after a divorce. That’s just plain silly.

10. I would wait till she brings it up, more and more stories of men making the “secure the relationship” move first turn badly.

    Not saying it will, but if she says it first, you might have a better chance.

11. If you’re on the sex > exclusivity > “official bf/gf relationship” track, I think it’s usually a couple weeks after the exclusivity conversation. You basically say “hey no pressure but I want to focus on us and see how it goes” and then if it goes well for some meaningful period of time, you agree to just be in a full relationship. It’s a good idea to have a conversation about this so everyone is on the same page and you can be sure you’re both equally enthusiastic about each other. I’d let her bring this up first, though if you’re going nuts and HAVE to have clarity, you can do it.

12. When you feel comfortable farting around her.

13. I used to just wait for her to ask the “what are we” and then give my thoughts. If we agree then I ask her to be my girlfriend.

14. I would say that’s in a relationship. I stop dating after 3rd or 4th date.

15. You have all have been amazing!! I’ve never met anyone like this before, and I don’t want to blow it. But she is the only one I think about and she says she feels the same. Other than my marriage, I have been in this type of relationship in over 15 years, and I don’t want it to slip away

16. When she earned it.

    The fact that you don’t want to see other people and neither does she is a green flag.

17. No defined point. Just when it feels right.

    Usually pretty early on, though, as I don’t like pussyfooting around.

18. If you slept with her, it’s pretty official. Just tell her that she is your girlfriend.

    Don’t ask her. Just assume it to be the case. It she disagrees, she’ll say so. Otherwise, she will like your confident approach.

19. The whole “will you be my girlfriend” conversation is way too high school for me. If we’re dating exclusively, we’re bf/gf to me. Just start calling and referring to her as such, and let her roll with it.

20. When I know it would perturb me if she were to be on a date with someone else. When I realize that, I sit down and have that exclusivity chat.

21. After we talk about it.

    There isn’t any set time.

    Every relationship is different.

22. Ask her already.

23. Both of you have talked to each other and agreed neither of you is interested in seeing other people. Congrats, you have yourself a girlfriend, bro.

24. It sounds like you are already sort of doing everything right given you’ve both expressed to each other a desire to be exclusive. Allow the conversations to happen organically when it feels right for the what are we both looking for stuff.

    I would say she’s your girlfriend when you are meeting each other’s friends and family.

25. After anal sex.

26. Should be about 2-3 months , and you need to let her bring up the subject so it’s her idea

27. It’s just a label. Your English teacher won’t give you a mark either way.

    For me it’s after 6 hours of sex total and a meal. At least a sandwich but it could be something more involved like spaghetti. Lasagna means we’re married and soup doesn’t count.

28. Do something nice to mark the event. Plan a dinner or something and ask.

29. You have the makings of a relationship personally, just make sure that you’re ready to be in one and confirm with her if she is interested in being official so you are on the same page.i feel being questioning rather than affirming to prove better in these cases.
    Ex.) Are we in a relationionship? = affirming
    Would you like to be in a relationship? = questioning

30. Dude, just fucking talk to her. *Her.* If you can’t do that, your relationship is doomed anyway.

31. Without reading the context, apparently having my dick in her mouth and making her squirt on my couch, 3 years later and living together doesn’t make her my girlfriend considering she fucked other people in my town while I was at work LOL xDDDDDDD

    Soooo…… at this point it’s whenever I ask the next woman to be my god damn girlfriend. LOL

    Aight Reddit, imma stop, imma stop.

    Also editing, because I know you’re looking for serious advice, and it’s not helpful: But for real, just ask her. I can’t tell how old you are from your post, but it all works the same regardless of age, in my experience, if the chemistry is there, and y’all like hanging out, ask her my guy. Worst case scenario, if she says no, then ask her if she just wants to keep up a casual relationship.

    If y’all enjoy each others company, there isn’t always a need to put a label on stuff.

    Anyway, best of luck to you <3

32. So ask her, you goofball

33. You don’t, that’s her job. She’ll likely ask in Womanese with some variation of the “ what are we?” Question. Which you answer with “ what would you like us to be?” If Sshe mumbles something vague you then frame out your standards for an exclusive relationship and say to her, “if you want that, I’d be down” but either way the basic ask has to come from her not you. She’ll respect you much more this way because remember YOU’RE THE PRIZE!