I’ve been dating a girl for about 2 months and things have been going really well. We were both initially at two different Halloween parties but she picked me up later and I continued at a party at her house. But it was already 3am, I had well already had something to drink and she was just getting started since she was a driver. But since I stood around there for an hour and only knew her there and ran after her, I quickly lost the mood and wanted to go already after an hour. I told her that and even though she asked why, it didn’t seem like it was a big problem.
Now she wrote me that she felt like having sex, she was annoyed with me for leaving early and she spent the night with someone else. We never said what exactly it is between us and we never talked about a relationship between us. Still, I don’t know how to deal with it right now.
Edit: I’m going to be completely honest. I didn’t see our dates as something that would lead to anything serious. So now that she slept with someone else, the second I was gone, I now know that I will continue to date other girls and just see her as a FWB. Maybe one info I left out is that it won’t be easy to completely ignore her, as she is also involved in another friend group that I am also a part of and we see each other a lot at parties. So tbh i dont really care.That’s just a red flag for me to know that I’m not going to develop any feelings.
37 comments
Drop her, this is not someone you should be wasting your time on.
She’s not girlfriend material. Forget about her.
It’s absolutley not your fault. She is responsible for her own decisions.
this is a major red flag for 2 reasons
1. Firstly, spending the night with somoene else. Now, of course you arent in an exclusive relationship, she can sleeps with who she wants. But to sleep with someone after a date, with someone you’ve been seeing for 2 months, franly says a lot about her.
2. if she she’s annoyed because you left early (at 3am!) and then says ‘well i’ll just go and fuck someone then’ it tells you a lot about her character and how she deals with relationships; she is clearly very immature and selfish. This would likely esculate.
She’s fwb material not gf. Now that you know where you stand start looking for other people to date. In time you’ll put her on the back burner as you find others you connect with.
“You left early so I’m going to shag someone else! Hmph” classic 😂
No one is mentioning how weird it is that she told you about this. If you are rewriting it verbatim it’s sounding like she’s saying she slept with someone as like a punishment because she was annoyed you left early. That’s more of a red flag than the sex itself. It feels manipulative.
Keep fucking her, find someone else to develop feelings for. She’s not worth it
No bro focus on yourself
Nope not at all ,
It means they are a disrespectful player.
Best thing you can do is delete them and don’t waste another or second of time on them
Hmm, would you really want to date someone that does that?
She belongs to the street
>we never talked about a relationship between us
You have now, and she has made her position excruciatingly clear.
Sorry buddy; she’s not the one for you.
If it were me I would not contact her again and leave her on read if she messages you. You left the party at 3am. You’ve been dating two months. You have been having sex. Then you get that passive agressive message saying since you weren’t around she slept with someone else. The fact that she can’t control herself when you aren’t up for things once means I wouldn’t see her as girlfriend material. She’s not a good person to disrespect you like that.
Move on unfortunately she is not girl friend material. Life is to short to deal with trust issues and she definitely shows she is not trust worthy.
I think could be two things: 1) she was multidating and when you left was she pick the other dude once you left.
Like a sideboy or something like that.
2)if not the case its not worth your time and energy, you spend two months with her and she slept with thr first dude she finds? Thats disrespectful. If you are dating someone its because you wanted something serious with her.
Leave her be. I dated a girl who slept with other people while I was away. It isn’t worth it.
She belongs to the streets bro. She’s definitely not relationship material.
Time for a new girlfriend big fella
Yeah…You need to move on. You wouldn’t want to be on the side of a person capable of doing things like that. She doesn’t care about you.
Welp, friend, wam bam and on to the next
Wow that’s not cool. I personally ally would not put up with that! I’d walk
#Someone else’s actions are never your fault!
This is one of those really clear situations. You dodged a bullet here, just be thankful. It might feel crappy, but at least you weren’t in deep with her.
She’s not into you .. if I were you, i wouldn’t take this relationship seriously
Just fuck her till you find someone else king
LOL she belongs to the streets.
She just tried to punish you. Block her number and move on.
What’s next? Will she always sleep with someone else when she is annoyed and then tell you after to punish you? Who does that?
My friend, that’s called manipulation.
You never defined the relationship and now she’s being vindictive and shitty. Don’t walk, run.
I think she’s made it pretty clear what the relationship is – there isn’t one.
Don’t continue this. Find someone else to date.
Do not waste time with this person.
You are not in a relationship. She is using you. Stop seeing her and find someone knew. This thing is already doomed
Consider this a bullet dodged and walk away. If she slept with someone else that quickly and easily, it isn’t what you want.
You didn’t cause her having sex with someone. But I think it triggered a very unhealthy reaction in her. Either she felt rejection and wanted to reject you back. Or the attention and validation from men has become a requirement for her to get her rocks off. Or she took the classic cowards way of ending things, instead of telling you it’s over, ended it with someone else’s dick. Telling you seems like she’s knows it’ll get back to you so she’s doing it first. If I were you, rather than retaliate or block or whatever I’d respond using questions, it’s like holding a mirror upto her. “How do you expect me to react to a message like that?” “Why are you telling me this?” “How do you think that makes me feel?” It’ll save you from having to point out the ridiculousness of her reasoning.
People are saying “she can sleep with whoever she wants because you haven’t defined your relationship” but to me, fucking around while you’re dating a future prospect before establishing that you’re casual is the peak of rudeness and poor dating etiquette
Hey my girl cheated on me at a Halloween party too. High five! Something about dressing up gets girls really horny I guess.
Maybe it’s just me but I don’t see anything here as ‘punishment,’ like so many others are saying. Sounds like she wanted to have sex that night, and had you stuck around, it would have been with you. But, since you didn’t, she had sex with someone else instead— not because she was trying to punish you, but because, well, she wanted sex.