In her words ” I j feel that whenever I see ur not in the best place I leave everything and focus my attention on u, But I never feel that way when it comes to me”. I don’t think i’m that way, but obviously, she feels that way and I want to be better. What’re some things I could do to be more mindful/ helpful in our relationship? Thanks
TL; DR: My(23m) gf(22f), says sometimes my actions and words aren’t the same, and that I’m distant sometimes.
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Have you asked her to take an attachment style test? I’m anxiously attached and I felt like that a lot with my bf, but I’m also aware I shouldn’t expect anything from him.
Anxiously attached people are some of the most giving and kind people there are with people who matter, and it’s kind of an instinct to drop everything to help them. But it’s not healthy to expect that as the norm. Still, I feel like this with my current bf because he’s quite unemotional and often totally misses the hint that I’m looking for support. The best thing to do is if she says anything negative about her day, how she feels etc, ask if she’s okay and if there’s anything you can do for her. If no, she will say so.