Personally I always feel at my most comfortable completely alone with no obligations. It’s a thought thats just cross my mind. Im sat here scrolling through Reddit enjoying some of the topics, sometimes I just sit alone reading something about a subject I’m interested in.

I’m curious to know if this is just me or if most people are at their most relaxed in similar situations or do other people generally need other people around them to feel the same way I do?

43 comments
  1. An afternoon snooze on the sofa when I have zero fooks to give. Nothing else matters at that stage. Yes I may be old, but I don’t care..

  2. Couldn’t agree more, I feel super comfortable when my living room blind is down, lamp on, door locked, and I can just be cosy and safe at home on my own

  3. On my tod, out for a walk in a new city and just taking it slow, maybe grabbing a beer in the process.

    I went to Germany for a few days a fortnight ago for some well earned R&R before starting my new job. My mrs didn’t have any holiday left so I went on my own.

    Spent an entire day sitting in the sunshine on a riverside bench in Dusseldorf with some cans and a few snacks. It was glorious.

  4. I feel most comfortable laying on the couch with my arms wrapped around my SO binge watching a series.

    There’s a whole host of thing’s verging from slightly less comfortable but fun to entirely uncomfortable that I have to do to make those nights happen

  5. Theres a small window on Sunday that is just perfection. I usually do the tidying on Saturday. I get up a few hours before my fiancee, she’s a late sleeper and I’m not. The house is clean and tidy. I make my self a coffee, and breakfast, and I just sit and do absolutely nothing, when it’s sunny I might sit in the garden. Those couple of hours on Sunday when I don’t have to do anything or talk to anyone is when I’m most comfortable.

    I work as a Nurse which can drain the social battery a bit

  6. It’s during times when you are doing the little every day things. Coffee in a cafe on the weekend. Reading. Music I think just relaxes me, finding a song and playing it on repeat!

  7. I know exactly where because I seek it out.

    I take my “two person” (read: one person plus kit) backpacking tent out to somewhere remote in the Scottish Highlands. It’s a weekend – I have no work responsibilities, no volunteering, I know I have all the food I need and a water filter. I camp next to a water source – fresh, running water, a few hundred metres up. The filter allows me to have unlimited drinking water. The sun has gone down and it’s just me. Unless there’s a group of Mountain Leader trainees I’m not going to see or hear a single human soul all night.

    The light is amazing. Either you have the benefit of the bright moon or it is deep darkness. Both of them are humbling. When you have the moon you are grateful, and when you don’t you are reminded of how grateful you are when you do have the moon.

    The stove or the small fire is going. It’s kebab hash – all the veg and protein from my fridge which was going to go off if I didn’t use it. If there’s a big rock nearby, I’m making campfire flatbreads. If not, no bother – the food is grand as it is. I’ve got a chilled beer in hand.

    My view is of the mountains, obviously, but also of the lake or the stream or the river. These are comforting. Maybe it’s survival instinct, but water sources are attractive even when your visibility is 1 metre in fog at 2am. You know you’re going to be grand.

    The mobile phone probably doesn’t work. If there’s an emergency and I really can’t call 999/112 there’s a PLB, which will work almost anywhere in the world. I’m safe.

    The best nights are when it’s windy and rainy. I’ve cooked my meat and veg hash or curry and I’ve zipped up my tent. The red or green LEDs of my headtorch are the only electronics running, and that’s simply so I can read my book or do my diary. The sound of the rain on the tent, that plasticy pitter patter, perhaps accompanied by the howling of the wind or the thunder of the storm, is a reminder to be grateful for the shelter. Inside a waterproof tent, tucked up in a sleeping bag, roll mat inflated, it’s luxury compared to what humans used to make do with. I can go green LED to plan my routes (the red LEDs make the contour lines on 1:50k maps difficult to read) or red/green for the journaling. If I don’t feel like reading or writing or planning it doesn’t matter. I’m under no obligation. I’m out in nature, and I’m myself.

    The better weather, dry skies and clear nights, I don’t bother with the tent. I might inflate a roll mat or put up a hammock, or get into a bivvy bag. I fall asleep looking up at the stars, and wake up whenever the sun wakes me up. I don’t need an alarm clock. The sun is my alarm clock. And even if I get up at 10am, who cares? It’s my time off.

    The sounds of nature don’t stop at the weather. People often go to a touristy village and say, “wow, it’s so silent”. When you camp out away from artificial light you realise nature isn’t silent, because nocturnal animals come out. You hear birdsong at the natural times, you see moles and owls and crustaceans in their natural cycle.

    In the morning I strip down and have a swim or a wash in the lake, tarn, river, whatever. There’s no rush – it’s not like I’m incurring costs on my gas bill. Some mornings I’ve just sat in a lake for an hour doing nothing. Just me and my thoughts. A towel down, clean clothes and the merino wool socks have dried out perfectly over the campfire, ready for another day.

    Pack up, leave, and only me and my diary will know where I was, what I did, or for how long. Almost anonymous.

    Basically I’m most comfortable when I’m away, outdoors, and free from obligation.

  8. The “completely alone with no obligations” thing resonates a lot.

    I do enjoy company from time to time, but being solo in the wilderness or that moment before you fall asleep with your own thoughts is the best.

  9. Probably a weekend morning if me and my husband have no plans and we’ve opted to have a lie in, just cuddled into each other chatting shit without needing to go anywhere or do anything. It’s blissful.

  10. Since being a parent I am always most chill when my kids are with me. I know it’s stupid one is nearly 18 he doesn’t want to hang out. But honestly when the kids are with me I am my most happy and content.

  11. When I’m alone. If I have to be surrounded by people, I prefer them to be of my own group.

  12. cycling in a park at the perfect time (sun starting to set, good temperature, and a good view near the end of my journey)

  13. When I spend time with my best friend. There’s a 7 hour time difference between us, and I’ll stay up until 3/4 in the morning just to chat with her. Even if I have to get up at 7. Yeah I’m tired the next day, but I enjoy every moment

    She has a way of being able to ease my anxiety. I feel comfortable with myself around her.

    She and I are watching Titanic over discord in about 30 ish minutes.

  14. At home when my landlord’s family aren’t in and the neighbourhood is quiet. I can open the windows and enjoy fresh air without someone else’s scent wafting in.

    Also when somewhere private with someone I care deeply about and there’s nothing to irritate my senses.

  15. Aged 15, with my ninja rig, on a Friday night, feet on my desk playing Battlefield 2 and pwning. No girls or parents or job or bills. But also, over a powder field in Tignes, early morning with the smell of sun-lotion in my nostrils, doing 10-50mph, who knows? With no point of reference speed is hard to tell, just leaning and flowing with the frost as is whips past the edges of my snowboard. Perhaps in bed with my dog curled up into the crook of my knee bend, reading a book and with rain patter on the window. The majority of these are alone… or with a dog, humans ruin my calm.

  16. Being at home on my own not doing anything. Sometimes just watching something easy going on tv or just some music playing in the background while I do nothing

  17. Probably on like a Saturday or Sunday afternoon, in my comfy chair. Chores are done, and I’m watching football, Moto GP, Formula 1 or NFL. Just content

  18. Similar situation as you. I feel most comfortable when I’m by myself. Sometimes I’ll play a few games or maybe I’ll watch Netflix while scrolling Reddit on the other monitor. It’s the only time I really feel completely at ease.

    That said I still enjoy going out sometimes. I just came back from a concert and I’m going to two more by myself next month. Just because I’m comfortable with my own company that doesn’t mean I have stay at home all day. I know some people who don’t go anywhere without an entourage of friends as a result they miss out on a lot of great experiences.

    I still have one or two friends that I talk to and hang out with, but at the same time it’s not something I need.

  19. I like it when I’m alone and it’s quiet outside, like 100% dead silent all the time. I don’t want to hear nothing – I can get fairly close to that with earplugs, I want to be able to hear but to hear no sound. Honestly just want to experience a solid month of that at this point, I need a break

    However I sleep best when I’m with someone that I’m comfortable with, because when I wake up I get back to sleep within seconds, and because that thing when I’m alone where I’m avoiding going to bed because I know I’ll be awake with my thoughts for hours before I drift off doesn’t happen. My sleeping pattern is shit and copying someone else’s helps

  20. At home.

    One week ago we left for a two week holiday in Mexico. I hate the heat but I agreed to go for my husband’s sake to cheer him up after his mum died.

    Anyway, he’s still out there (my leather husband) baking himself all day from morning till night. I paid £750 for a flight home, I’ve never been so miserable.

    At home now, with my cats and my things and my delicious cooking and – shock horror – appreciating the British climate.

  21. Right now. It’s Sunday, I work 10 hours a day Mon-Fri, a typical day for me involves leaving for work at 4:45am and getting home at 7:15pm on a good day.

    Today I woke up at 5:30am. My other half is in bed sleeping, I got up and brushed my teeth then made a cup of tea and rolled a little joint. Been sitting in the kitchen for the past hour and a half now just relaxing and scrolling through Reddit reading some interesting posts and watching some videos. It’s rained at times and been very peaceful, I have zero responsibilities today and right now I can just enjoy my own company before the day starts properly. I’ll probably nap later on or get back into bed soon and fall asleep.

  22. Having a cuddle on the sofa with my husband, tummy full of dinner, cup of something decaffeinated within reach. Something interesting on the TV. Sprog asleep & well upstairs.
    It’s nothing fancy, but that’s when I can let my brain switch off.

  23. The moment after coming back from a long bike ride. 40 miles in the saddle, Jump in the shower, get a nice set of clean rags on and sit down with nothing to do basking in the warm afterglow of exercise

  24. Two extremes for me. I love the dark winter mornings..get up extra early and have a cuppa outside enjoying the freshness of the air and the silence. I just feel like the world is hugging me.

    The other time, as I play in a band, is when the crowd is whipped into a frenzy and me, my guitar, thd rest of the band, the noise and the crowd all become one. Its hard to really explain but I just kinda feel like I haven’t a care in the world, the music is carrying me.

  25. Going for a walk in the woods with the wind running through the trees or by the sea or body of water is very relaxing to me.

    Also, weirdly enough, I fly a lot and find planes very relaxing. I just sit there with no distractions from phone or worry about where I’m going (unlike driving or being on a train and paying attention to the stops) and usually drift off into sleep for most of the journey.

  26. Same – which is why I live alone in a quiet rural area (but only 30 minutes bus from a city) in my own detached house and am thankful for it daily. I just love it.

  27. I’m my outside office/man cave.

    I designed it as a cinema so me and the wife could watch films on a big screen without going out (young kids). She prefers the real thing- she likes the adverts, the smell, the people you get in a cinema. I hate all that lol.

    It’s sound proof, air conditioned, has 4 fully reclining lazyboy chairs, 5.1 surround sound, 110inch screen with 3D short throw 4k ultra HD projector. Also my xbox, VR and a drinks globe.

    I am at my most comfortable in there, on my own, lights on very low, with a glass of bourbon and music playing.

    It’s where I go and reflect and if I am honest (38M so make of it what you will), I will cry and generally be miserable away from my wife and kids to get it out. I can talk to myself, reflect on what’s bothering me, play xbox, get drunk and as its soundproof and every surface is very soft, if I fall over I won’t hurt myself. 😆

    Is a brilliant little space.

  28. In bed, wife next to me, Sunday morning, tea and toast. Soon to be spoiled by toast crumbs.

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